It's A Violent World

The Curtain Call

2011-09-05T15:21:00.014+08:00

The past 8 years of my life have been years marked by overwhelming stagnancy and mediocrity. Come to think of it, nothing really fulfilling, or even worth remembering, has happened to me during my teen years. Definitely not like in those coming-of-age movies where the bida suddenly sees a glimmer of hope amidst his mistakes, and an epiphany emerges after the crescendo ends. Nope, nothing of that sort. Remember those colored stripes you see on TV at 3 AM in the morning when the channel is off-air? That's my adolescence right there - a dull, monotonous freeze-frame..

Upon realizing how much I've wasted my teen years into nothingness, I decided it's time to abandon a few things and, simply put, start all over again. Maybe not completely, but at least start "reinventing" myself, piece-per-piece. More like refurbishing rather than relocating.

So, let me start by bidding goodbye to my long-term confidant. Goodbye, helljay.blogspot.com. Maybe it's time to finally channel my creative energy to more useful, substantial endeavors rather than let all these rants clog up internet traffic. So, yeah, maybe I can call this a "retirement" from 8 years of blogging. I think I'm getting too old for this.

Thank you too, reader. It has been an honor to write for your leisure. I hope I have (metaphorically) touched you, one way or another.

Well, I'm twenty years old now and it's never too late to re-establish my priorities. They say that this is the best decade of a man's life anyway. So for now, I'll be gearing myself up to receive all the awesomeness the world can offer, and at the same time fend for myself against the harsh realities of adulthood. Who knows? It's a violent - yet beautiful - world after all.

A Portrait of A Dream Girl

2011-08-22T18:25:00.003+08:00

Above is an image of a woman that I felt compelled to make a few days back. I actually made it out of a necessity - a necessity that I thought words will never do justice.

   See, whenever the thought of the perfect woman crossed my mind, I have always found it hard to create a mental picture of her; probably because (a) she is non-existent, (b) I haven't met her yet, or (c) I saw her somewhere, sometime but I was too distracted to remember. I can visualize bits and pieces of her in my head - like how I can pick out her calm, sparkling eyes, her delicate earlobes, and that long, black hair sweeping gracefully down her forehead - and individually separate them from the immeasurable permutations of the human face. However, that's the farthest I can get. Because whenever I try to finally weave them together to form a coherent whole, the threads of the visual tapestry just suddenly loosen; as if the edges of the image lose their definition, the details transform into blurs, and the façade merges with the backdrop. Just like how ink spreads on wet parchment and blots everything into distorted incomprehension - and all I'd get is a surreal, amorphous visage of a nameless female. That's probably why I felt the need to draw the portrait - it made remembering her face much easier.

   After much thinking though, I realized that conjuring a concrete facial blueprint of my perfect woman was, to put it bluntly, a mistake. I found that dwelling on the idea of perfection was a pointless pursuit - one that will bring to my life more frustration than contentment. I feared that clinging into this foolish image of the ideal will just force me to set standards that are needlessly high, making me underappreciate myself, others and everything around me.

   Well, even if I try to erase the existence of this portrait from tangible reality, somewhere within the recesses of my mind, this image will remain. But just like any masterpiece an artist creates, this portrait will aptly serve as a symbol - a symbol that will remind me of a past full of daydreams and naivety. A past when I was still a slave of the superficial.

   So, how would you describe your ideal partner?

(76)

2011-07-27T18:43:00.008+08:00

7 Things I Realized During My Drugstore Internship

2011-06-11T21:19:00.002+08:00

1. Sales clerks do talk about their customers. Especially customers who are rude and inconsiderate. Be nice to them.

2. I vehemently think most people have no understanding, or at least misunderstand, the meaning of the statement "No Approved Therapeutic Claims".

3. I hope no one will take offense, but I find it amusing when butch lesbians buy sanitary napkins. It's like one of those situations that I feel they are most vulnerable. Or I can be wrong.

4. FACT: There is no other paracetamol in the Philippines other than Biogesic. Especially when John Lloyd Cruz says so.

5. I find it stupid when people buy multivitamins and cigarettes together. As if they were expecting the vitamins to save their asses from the lung cancer that will eventually kill them.

6. People from the provinces are fun to be around with. Heck, they are even wittier than most pretentious, city-bred folks that I know.

7. The practice of profession in the outside world is never theoretical nor ideal. Attempting to do what's right under a system that is flawed is an exercise in futility.

NGSB

2011-05-05T17:19:00.007+08:00

(73)

2011-03-13T18:08:00.001+08:00

It has been a year since I made this.

And I can still vividly remember how I crammed it in 3 hours.

It hurts to admit,

I miss being busy.

Tula(la)an sa Tren

2011-02-28T21:52:00.022+08:00

The warm, damp air of the city pierced the inside of the cabin as the train doors slowly parted.

Entering the train was a girl. Of average built and height. Long, black hair, slippers, book in hand. She isn’t particularly pretty, but with the way she cuts her way through the crowd with her graceful ways you’ll probably be surprised why you never noticed her before. And from this point onward we call her Girl.

Already standing in the corner of the cabin was a boy. Of average built and height. Black hair, backpack, sneakers. Unassumingly normal? Yes. Attractive? Maybe. And from this point onward we call him Boy.

The doors closed and the train slowly went back into motion.

You are probably expecting a serendipitous orchestration of fate in this scenario, some sort of quick, but unyielding nudge on their hearts as their eyes meet. Just like how lightning strikes a lone tree and sends it burning for all eternity.

Well, not really.

Too bad, their eyes didn’t quite meet. Girl was too engrossed on some book the profundity of which Boy will never comprehend even in six lifetimes.

But Boy, stuck in awe by this saintly apparition appearing right before his eyes, couldn’t help but stare. So stare he did.

Obviously, Girl was everything Boy would want on a woman. Well, not entirely everything though, but she comes pretty close. As far as looks are considered, Girl managed to tick all of Boy’s checkboxes. And good Lord, that nose of hers, he thought. It was the most delicate nose Boy had ever seen – a nose that perfectly complemented her face just as a red maraschino cherry perfectly crowns the creamy goodness of a milkshake on summertime. Such was his fixation to that nose that he even forgot to take a mental note of what color of shirt the girl was wearing, or even the size of her breasts, for that matter.

Maybe he’ll walk over to her, slowly and steadily, before striking a conversation.

“Hi, miss. Why alone on such a gloomy August morning?” or, “Oh, you are reading… *glances at the book cover* …Ayn Rayd?! I like his works. Reaaally funny stuff.”

Maybe she will reply with a smile. Boy will smile back too. And right there and then, the connection would be established. They will flutter out of this train station together, away from all the discord and pandemonium of people who obviously have been living their lives far too fast.

Maybe they’ll exchange phone numbers. Then he will invite her to coffee. Or dinner. Or dinner while having coffee. They will have the time of their lives, revel at the freedom of their youth, and laugh on jokes that suck but become funnier for some weird reason. And for every moment they are together, an incessant need for the other’s companionship will materialize from within the depths of their subconscious, as if all the white flags have been raised and the other has finally infiltrated that fortress of romantic acquiescence. They will share that picture-perfect moment of confession by the bayside one afternoon, with the sky tainted a reddish hue. And how else shall we finish this fantasy but with that inevitable kiss, while the sun slowly sets upon the horizon…

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

   The warm, damp air of the city once again pierced the inside of the cabin as the train doors slowly parted.

   Girl closed her book, placed it inside her shoulder bag, and gracefully made her way out towards the train doors before forever vanishing onto the mob that was leaving the train in a hurry. Boy, whose daydreams lasted for a whole three minutes and twenty-eight seconds, just nonchalantly stood by the corner. He could've chased Girl at that very moment, but he didn't. He was either too dazed, or maybe too lazy, to even pursue the Girl of his dreams, his soulmate, his immaculate angel. He just shook off the fairy dust from his eyes before turning his mp3 player back on, and reverting to his own business of being alone.

   The doors closed and the train slowly went back into motion.

I've been searching for you, a voice was singing through the earphones. I heard a cry within my soul...

LJCF(2011)

(71)

2011-02-14T02:14:00.004+08:00

"Obsessed kasi ang mundo sa concept ng love na hindi tanggap ng iba that there are those who are happy, or at the very least, comfortable, by their lonesome."

(Rook, via Peyups.com)

Retrospect

2011-01-24T14:28:00.017+08:00

Whenever I look at photographs of myself from primary school, I can't help but think; Who the heck is this creepy kid? And why is he staring at me? Maybe it's my bony frame, my side-swept greasy hair and my half-crooked grin that made me look so menacingly innocent that I could easily pass as Damien for the next installment of The Omen. My mom would even insist on making me wear a rosary together with my school uniform everyday.

   Despite that, I came to realize that I was such a cool kid back then: I was a consistent honor student, I sang and/or danced at presentations, was a class officer, joined and won contests, had so many friends. A far cry from the guy that I am right now - an introverted, underachieving poster boy of mediocrity.

   At times I still ask myself; "What the hell happened to the old me?"

   To make the contrast even more evident, my younger self was an assertive brat; capable of pulling shit out of his own ass and shoving it in another kid's throat whenever he wanted to. I'm not particularly proud of the nasty things I've done but, hey, we all did stupid things when we were kids.

There was this one time I pulled the chair off some random girl when she was just about to sit down. Her ass fell hard on the floor and I think I heard her pelvis crack. Or maybe it was the sound of the floor shattering to bits. I dunno.

She was crying her butt out (pun intended) while I was running away as fast I could until my lungs forgot what air felt like. I think I scarred her for life.

And once I had a crush on this girl who was a year or two younger than me. Oh, such young, shallow, one-dimensional love! I handed her a rose, a teddy bear and some cheap-ass fancy ring on Valentines Day in front of her friends. Feels good, man.

If only I could see my 10 year-old self right now, I would've given him a high five.

But the most monumental and historic of any boy's childhood memory, of course, would always involve bruises and visits to the Principal's Office. And my childhood ain't no exception. Though I was a decent bully myself, there's always that Alpha Bully who is willing to stomp down on all the other lesser beings on the bottom of the food chain. Let's just say I once had an encounter with one of them.

That was all it took for my thread of reason to snap. Being a little boy who had never experienced the thrill of a fight for the first time, I felt all the chains of morality and reason untangle within me.

This is it, I thought. Your head shall be skewered in a pike and be fed to the birds. (Not exactly my thoughts back then, but you get the point)

   I managed to get away from the riot with only a bruised cheek and a trip to the Admin while he went home with a hole in his arm.

   And you know what's funny?

   That's how I met the only person I considered as my bestfriend. I considered him as some sort of twin brother, since we actually shared the same birthday. But graduation came and I have to transfer schools and somehow I got busy and distracted and ultimately lost touch.

   One day, I got the news that he died at the age of 17.

   But being the busy, self-centered college freshman that I was, I never managed to attend his wake or even his funeral.

Still, there were times I think how cool it would've been if my buddy was still alive right now, and maybe we can share a few beers and talk about... I dunno, Tamiya or Final Fantasy or some other crap we used to enjoy as kids.

~ ~ ~

If ever my gradeschool self would appear before me right now, he'll probably kick me right in the nuts. He'll be so disappointed about how easily I let people slip away from my life. He'll probably say; "You, Mister, suck as an adult."

At times I still ask myself; "What the hell happened to the old me?"

(69)

2010-12-23T22:46:00.005+08:00

___I swear I wore almost the same face as that one above when I went Christmas gift-hunting alone for my 4-year old niece-slash-inaanak for the first time. Especially when I was browsing through the Girls' Toys Section of the department store. Everything was f*cking pink and purple and sparkling that I almost felt nauseous. It just felt wrong being there.

___Oh well, maybe I just don't know what to give kids these days anymore.

___I think I have this curse for being sucky at giving gifts.You can force me to quickly conceptualize an artistic design, or make me solve an organic chemistry problem right off the bat. But ask me about gift ideas and my brain will probably short-circuit right there and then.

___Maybe that's the karma I get for being such a tightwad.

Hai(na)ku

2010-12-06T20:19:00.011+08:00

Crush na crush kita
Malalaman mo kaya?
Hi hi hi hi hi

The Art of Confessing (to the Parents)

2010-11-11T20:48:00.003+08:00

"Ma, Pa; may bagsak ako. Sorry"

Much as I want to use the "Russian excuse" to at least put a cushion of humor in an otherwise unnerving situation, I just can't pull it off. Not with an overreacting, sharp-tongued mother that I have. But there are just those things you have to tell your parents before the lies pile up like paperworks at midsem. And after weeks of keeping it to myself, I finally admitted my academic discrepancy to the folks, and I gotta admit, it felt liberating.

How did I do it? Well, it did require weeks of strategic planning, sleepless nights and careful execution. The result: it ended up better than I imagined. So, whenever you feel you have to tell your parents you crashed their car, or got yourself pregnant, or did something so messed up it's beyond repair, this list may help you. Or not.

Choose the appropriate time. It is best to do the confession at night, around 1-2 hours after dinner. I said my piece at around 10 pm, and much to my surprise, my Mom was too sleepy to even delve into the issue. Use this sleepiness to your advantage.

Choose the appropriate date. I chose Wednesday night since I have a 7 am class the next day. The catch? They just wanted me to have a good night sleep before my early morning class the next day; they let me go without stirring a bloody fracas.

Do it in the dining room. The dining room, also known as The Sacred Shrine of Family Bonding Time, has this certain ambiance that suggests familial love and peace, which makes it easier for them to accept whatever you're going to say to them, right? Wrong. I only made that shit up. The dining room just keeps them away from the knives or any blunt-ended object they can hit you with.

Make sure other family members are not around. The last thing I needed was the sound of my older brother's voice taunting me with statements like, "Hahaha! Bagsak! Bobo ka pala eh!"

Make your speech plan simple and straight-forward. I just knew my parents wouldn't care even if I told them how I've "been keeping this secret too long, its killing me inside". Elaborate introductions or not, either way you can't soften the blow of disappointment once it hits them right in the face.

Say sorry, admit your fault and mean it. That's just the way it is. Made it much easier for both me and my parents.

It'll work out in the end, trust me. But if you found yourself in a predicament that involves dead bodies and arrest warrants, please, this list won't probably work.

The Five Stages of Grief

2010-10-20T18:56:00.013+08:00

__The first time I got a failing mark for Physics, I still found the courage to rise from the ashes and feel dignified and enlightened. I was like; "Oh, I learned my lesson, no regrets yada yada.." I actually felt rejuvenated; as if I was reborn as a new man, with the guts to start again more intelligently. But when failure struck me the second time, believe me when I say that it felt different. Completely, awfully, heart-wrenchingly different. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross once postulated that during times of tragedy, one has to undergo five stages before he or she can finally be able to deal with grief. Guess its time to get a grip of reality and reassess this mess once and for all

__No, definitely no denial. I can completely understand the situation - reality took a piss at my face and there is no point shrugging this off. I won't tell myself everything's going to be fine like it's all rainbows and miracles and shit. Nothing will be fine from this point onward.

__This is not worth any bargaining. I once heard someone say that when you are faced with a problem, ask yourself; "is this going to kill you?" If yes, you make the most out of your remaining time. If not, carry on living. And that's what I'll do: I'll move the fuck on. This 5.0 is too insignificant for me to waste my precious brain cells for.

__Depression? I was actually quite surprised that I did not shed a single tear. My parents will probably go haywire once they find out, but I can put up with that, with my scholarship being gone and all. I'll also be spending an extra year in college because of this shitstorm I stirred. Hooray for irregulars! But guess what? I didn't feel the slightest regret.

__And don't even tell me about acceptance. I don't know who's the one to blame, but it's definitely not me. I did what I could to salvage what was left to be saved, but it seems the world was too unfriendly.

__All I can feel now is anger. Have you ever had that feeling when you just want to let it all out? Maybe smash a few glass windows, scream curses or rip someone's head off. That's exactly how I feel right now. No, not towards myself. I just feel disgust and contempt for something I don't even know what.

Anger. It's the only stage of grief that makes sense to me.

(65)

2010-09-28T04:54:00.009+08:00

Season 5's out.
Distractions. Why do you have to come at such crucial times?

The Watchman

2010-09-23T19:22:00.031+08:00

Gentlemen, I am a watchman
I need none of your pity or attention.
As I stand, alone, atop this tower for days and nights,
please, ignore me. Just let myself be.
And while the soldiers leave the fortress and head for war,
I am the scribe who shall write about the bloody end
of their pathetic, insignificant lives.

Gentlemen, I am a watchman
I have no use for nourishment or company.
Because I am content
in seeing the lives of people crumble before my very eyes.
Their laments, the food of my soul.
Their frustrations, blood to my veins.

Do not send your concubines,
your jesters or your bards
I have all the entertainment I need
For I amuse myself watching people
engage on their pointless affairs, and laugh
as they make their stupid mistakes.

Oh, a wife, you say? I have none yet, my dear council.
For I'm no fool to rush into such trifling matters,
Love brings nothing but tragedy and deceit
Just an illusion, a distraction
from the drudgery of boredom and monotony.

Gentlemen, I am a watchman
There is no need to fret,
and don't ask me to come down
I'll be always standing here, observing.
From the top of this tower, someday
I shall watch this city burn to the ground
But you will never hear the horn blow
and the towngates will never open,
for I'll just watch and watch and watch
until my eyes fall out of their sockets.

Mid(College)Life Crisis*

2010-08-20T22:48:00.024+08:00

*Dahil ang Agosto ay buwan ng wika,

ang blog post na ito ay nasa wikang Filipino

__Simula nang tumapak ako sa ikatlong taon ko sa kolehiyo, kinundisyon ko na ang sarili ko na kailangan kong umayos at magpursige sa pag-aaral. Pangatlong taon na - kalagitnaan na kumbaga; onting tiis na lang at matatapos na. Madali nga naman sabihin. Madali siyang paulit-ulitin sa utak. Pero, sa mga panahon kung kelan halos araw-araw isuka ko na ang mga papeles na kailangan kong sagutan, mga librong di ko maintindihan, at kung anu-ano pang shit na kailangan kong malaman, minsan hindi ko rin mapigilang isipin;

"Eto ba talaga ang buhay na nakalaan para sa akin?"

"Tama ba ang mga ginawa kong desisyon?"

"Bakit mukhang tomboy si Justin Bieber?"

Etcetera, etcetera.

__Sa dalawang taon na nakalipas, inaamin ko na natutuwa ako tuwing may bago akong natututunan, kahit minsan I've learned them the hard way. Nasiyahan ako sa pag-aaral. Pero kung kagaya mo ako na nawalan na ng social life dahil sa sobrang pagtulog at pagkacram ng requirements, magsasawa ka rin. Pumasa ka nga, pero puro pasang-awa lang naman ang marka - kumbaga, hindi kumpleto ang fulfillment. Mayroong kasing kakaibang pakiramdam kapag nasa gitna na... Para bang nakakatakot humakbang pasulong, pero ayaw mo rin bumalik sa natapos na. Kung pwedeng 'wag na lang gumalaw. Nakakalito. Nakakabalisa. Nakakatamad. Siguro nga naghahanap lang ako ng kahit ano na magpapaalala sa akin na there's more to life: alak, bisyo, makabuluhang kwentuhan kasama ang mga kaibigan o kaya isang babae na magsasabi sa akin ng "Hi bhie, kumain ka na. Luv u. ♥".

__Kanina, sa unang pagkakataon, kumuha ako ng pagsusulit nang walang kaalam-alam na kahit ano tungkol sa ipapa-exam. Dagdagan mo pa ng lagnat, masasabi kong ipinasa ko ang pinaka-blanko na test paper sa labing-apat na taon ko ng pag-aaral. Tanginangshit. Yun na siguro ang sukdulan ng aking pagpapabaya.

__Motivation. Bakit mahirap hanapin yan ngayon?

Five Things I've Realized Today

2010-08-11T22:31:00.015+08:00

1. Whoever invented the spork is a genius.

2. The more you suppress something, the more it'll force itself out.

3. "Next train to Recto in 30 seconds." I counted. It arrived at 48. Filthy liars.

4. I wish women came with an instruction manual.

5. Solitude is underrated. There's a kind of peace only seclusion can provide.

Auditory Nostalgia

2010-07-31T22:17:00.018+08:00

___Oh, hey, I just happen to remember that I have a blog. So while we are at it, why can't we do a filler-post of some sort. School requirements are starting to pile up one after another, and the realization of looming exams are starting to form a large, malignant mass on my brain. That is why my mind's still a bit of a mess, my thoughts mostly incoherent, so I'll just settle for this clever idea for a survey. Damn, I'm such a genius. I've been wanting to do this for quite some time now.

Rules: Set your music player to shuffle. For every song that plays, write your favorite lyrics off that song and the very first memory that comes to mind whenever you hear that song. Do this ten times. Don't tag anyone, because they won't actually care.

And off we go (hits ">>" button)...

1. You and I Both - Jason Mraz
"And it's OK, if you have to go away, just remember the telephones, well they workin' it both ways, but if I never ever hear them ring..."

__Meh. And here I am anticipating that the first song would be wtfawesome. Well, at least this song is memorable - it brings me back to my chaotic Grade 6 days. I usually hum this by myself while my classmates are singing to Outkast's "Hey Ya!". This is just one of those underrated, feel-good songs that makes you wanna fall in love.

2. So Close - John McLaughlin
"So close, but still so far..."

__One cheesy song after another. *facepalm* This song just reminds me how much I (surprisingly) liked the movie Enchanted, especially that part where this song was being played (i.e. The ball scene). One of the saddest movie scenes I've ever watched - and the song makes it even more depressing. *sniffle*

3. Disenchanted - My Chemical Romance
"Woaaaaaahhhh woaaahhhh woooaaahhhhhhh!!!!"

__He he he. One of those "scream-out-loud" songs that I usually play whenever I study for my exams. I can consider this song as a personal favorite from that group, because Gerard Way's emotions in this is, well, effing intense. I get to scream my lungs out (and my frustrations as well) during the song's bridge.

4. Paper Planes - M.I.A.
"All I wanna do is *bang(x3)* and then *click,ching!* then take your money..."

__Two words: Slumdog Millionaire

5. Speed of Sound - Coldplay
"Some things you have to believe, while others are puzzles puzzling me..."

__I know a Coldplay song will somehow find its way here. This isn't particularly my favorite from the band, but it nevertheless reminds me of 1st Sem, 2009-2010 in UP Manila. I had this Coldplay playlist on my old phone that I've always listened to every chance I get. Now, whenever I hear a Coldplay song, memories of LOTS of rain (Ondoy remember?), organic chemistry and the smell of the wet streets of Manila come rushing back.

6. Empire State of Mind - Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys
"If Jesus payin' LeBron, I'm paying Dwayne Wade"

__Nothing significant comes to mind whenever I hear this song except the disgruntled faces of my peers whenever I tell them the Kangkong Kangkong Greenwich Tomato knock-knock joke. :)

7. Jenny - Click! Five
"Jenny, it's killing me..."

__Highschool, definitely. 3rd year highschool, as far as I can remember. I can't believe how music can magically transport you back to happy memories. My classmates and I used to sing - no, we actually shout - as it is being played on the boombox during our lunch breaks. JENNEHHHH, IT'S KILLING MEEHHHHH!!

8. Boston - Augustana
"You don't know me, you don't wear my chains..."

__More than the nice piano accompaniment and the singer's cool voice, what I remember most especially when I hear this song is my dead cousin. I found this song on her music player by accident, listened to it and liked it. And the rest, well, involves myself memorizing the lyrics and eternally wishing I can play the piano as well as Dan Layus can.

9. Bent - Matchbox 20
"Could you sympathize with my needs? I know you think I need a lot..."

__Grade school days again I think. But much younger. Brings back nostalgic memories of me wearing my grade school uniform, watching the video of Bent when Channel V was still free (channel 25, I think?). God, I miss those uncomplicated days when a simple Playstation session would sufficiently keep me happy for a day or two.

10. Insomnia - Craig David
"Feels like insomnia ah ahhhhhh"

__Ugh. Just when I thought this survey's finale would be epic, Craig David messes it up. Totally unremarkable song, oh wait, I vaguely remember my summer vacation back in 2009. I used to strangely hear this song everywhere in Baguio - my music player, the fastfoods where we ate, the radio. It was infectiously, ubiquitously annoying. Funny that's what I mostly remember about it.

(Pushes "□" button and goes back to study desk and bury his face in books)

The Story of Prince Pandacorn

2010-07-10T16:37:00.028+08:00

___Once upon a time, in the peaceful land of Teedletops, there lived Prince Pandacorn. He is a royal descendant of creatures that are half-panda and half-unicorn, having big and fluffy bodies, with black and white spots and a single horn on their forehead. His majestic lineage grants him magical powers; he can fly even if he has no wings, he can poop rainbows, solve calculus and magically turn negative things into something happy and colorful. Even if he is the one and only Pandacorn left in the peaceful land of Teedletops, he is not sad. He has friends - Galford the Gummi Bear, Barbara the Butterfly and Dixie the Dragon - who he can play with everyday in Marshmallow Fields. But one day, all of his friends and the creatures all around the peaceful land of Teedletops became sick with an unknown sickness. Maybe for being from the royal bloodline, he was not affected by the illness. For this, he knew that he is the one destined to save his dear friends from this misfortune. He was called by the Wise Fox Sage of Pretzelwood, and upon seeing Pandacorn, the Sage said, in his dying breath, "O great Prince, you must learn about the Forbidden Mysteries of Life to know the nature of this disease that afflicted the peaceful land of Teedle... tops... urkkkhhh..." That very moment, the Sage succumbed to the disease, and died. In order to fulfill his mentor's dying wish and to save his friends and the peaceful land of Teedletops from this mysterious plague, he set out to enroll in the University of the Philippines to learn about the Forbidden Mysteries of Life, and there, Prince Pandacorn died.

The End.

(59)

2010-06-27T23:55:00.020+08:00

"Kung mayaman lang ako, siguro niligawan ko na lahat ng babaeng gusto kong ligawan."

- anonymous

In Loving Memory of Scream

2010-06-19T23:42:00.014+08:00

2003 ~ 2009

__Scream, my 6 year-old violin, was one of the tragic victims of typhoon Ondoy. After the storm, "she" was found by my mom inside the house, her violin case soaking in a pool of mud, her wooden body split in two, and most of her strings broken. It was an unfortunate demise, and I wasn't even able to take a picture of her cold, messed-up corpse even before she was thrown away.

__Scream has been a very obedient friend, especially back in highschool, when I often brought her to school and abused her right there and then for the amusement of my classmates. She usually hits the right notes, but there are those times when she's not in the mood and decides to ruin everything. And ever since her death I still wasn't able to move on. LOLjk, I'm not that sentimental.

__But then, It has been roughly 9 months since I last properly held a violin. Maybe my fingers have gone stiff. Maybe I've even forgotten everything that I have learned back from violin school. But one thing's for sure - the violin would be the only musical instrument I will ever play. And when the time comes that I have to buy myself a new fiddle, I'll make sure that my new "friend" would be an electric one.

10 things I Want to Say to Certain People

2010-06-03T22:28:00.012+08:00

___Summer's almost over and I can almost smell the noxious fumes of our Pharmacy laboratories but it's never too late for a quick post to give this summer the shit it deserves. Summer 2010 was unsurprisingly a boring one, and maybe I'll just do a tag that is long overdue. I was tagged to do this almost four years ago, but somehow it slipped off my mind. And just when I was about to post another survey, this ghost of the past suddenly popped out of nowhere.

___This one's a slightly personal entry and you won't probably get this if you don't know me that much. And this will be fun since posts like these are prone to assumptions.

Rule: List 10 things you want to say to certain people but you know you never will. Don't say who they are. Then, post the list entitled "10 things I Want to Say to Certain People".

1. I've always considered you as a "rival" of sorts. Yeah, we're friends, but at the back of my mind there's this little part that have always wanted to bring you down. Somehow I was wired to compete with you in all sorts of things; a kind of hunger that will only be satiated once I win.

2. You are probably the best and worst thing that has happened in my past. Things that have happened between us are not really what I consider "nice", but the way I saw you never changed until now. I hope to see you again in the near future and maybe ask you for a cup of coffee or something.

3. We shared really fuck-awesome experiences, but somehow I decided to keep my earlier years behind me when I entered college. I must' have lost touch. Damnit.

4. You are beautiful and you seem to have a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that I really like. It sucks I never had the chance to know you better. Maybe because we didn't have too much in common. But we should've looked good together, you know. :)

5. Even though you may not admit it, I know somehow I made you expect. I dunno, maybe I've hurt your feelings one way or another but I know you are happy now. I'm sorry, though. I hope we'll also see each other soon, too.

6. I've always been suspicious of you - and until now I still treat you with apprehension. Maybe I was never comfortable being around you, because I can almost see right through your lies. Grow up.

7. Thank you for supporting me. Although sometimes talking with you can become a pain-in-the-ass, you're still the only person who I trust enough. Maybe someday if I get rich I'm going to treat you somewhere nice and expensive.

8. Funny how every time I think of you, the chorus of Click 5's "Just the Girl" always plays on my head. You've been running in and out of my mind these past few months. Ugh. I don't know. And I can't even remember when it started. Maybe this is just another one of those phases. Maybe I'll get over it. Maybe not.

9. Ho ho ho. I thank God because I met a person like you who makes me feel better about myself. Hanging around with you made me realize that I don't suck that much compared to you. Ha ha ha. Just kidding.

10. Stalking your online profiles was something I have been doing these past few days. I know you may not be able to read this but I say: You're interesting and cute!

Oh, God. That's catharsis right there.

O.U.A.T.

2010-05-22T10:44:00.006+08:00

___"So I saw this girl at a party the other night, and she was really cute, and so I started wondering if she was someone who hated small talk, and didn't hang out in bars, and wasn't interested in playing games, and maybe she would always hold my hand in public, and always smell good, and not complain that I don't make much money, and give me the feeling that I can do anything, and tell me I'm good-looking, and make me feel like I'm the only guy in the world, and find it endearing instead of annoying that I like rotary telephones, and make me feel like I'm going places, and not be a vegetarian but have a moral opposition to veal, and not look around the room all the time when we're out at a restaurant, and never stay mad at me far too long, and make the coffee at least 50% of the time, and bonk my brains out with great regularity, and tell me I look cool when I drive, and never answer her cellphone when we're hanging out, and not talk about her ex-boyfriends all that often, and write me silly notes sometimes, and say I'm dark and mysterious even after she have known me for a while, and tell me I could be a model for a best-selling dildo, and give me backrubs on occasion, and not get mad at me when I call her when I'm drunk, and not get scared if I get really attached, and not consider it a wasted day if we never get out of bed, and have a pair of those knee-high leather boots somewhere in her closet, and not get mad that I never remember the rules for poker, and make everything all better when I have a crappy day. So then I tried talking to her but it was awkward for some reason so I went home."

- Lev Yilmaz, "My Darling?"

Skoodles

2010-05-10T22:12:00.006+08:00

Tee-hee.

Making sketches has become my new-found love this summer.
I made this one specifically for Mother's Day, to be uploaded on Facebook. But I was too fond of it so I'm also gonna post it here at Blogger. :)

Break it down, yo!

2010-05-07T17:57:00.021+08:00

___You gotta hand it to these guys. Seriously.

___I actually devoted time listening to some Pinoy-Gangzta-Jeje-Rap and guess what, I enjoyed it. It's a pain not so many people get to appreciate this kind of music. They never gave it a chance.

___The vocals may suck, true. But it's all about the lyrics, baby. The poetry. The way the words were arranged and harmonized to make a coherent, sensible, artistic whole. Hardcore Pinoy genius at its finest. Effin' rad. And I'm not being sarcastic.

___I'd rather listen to these underrated masterpieces than those monotonous Justin Bieber crap any time of the day.

(53)

2010-04-30T19:18:00.009+08:00

Maybe in a parallel world, an alternate version of me exists.
He may share my same black, emotionless eyes.
My wavy, messy hair.
My short, stubby legs.
He can be anywhere in that Other World.
Trekking on an alternate Himalaya.
or running with the bulls on another Pamplona.
Maybe that other me is an assertive man.
He took more risks.
Always says what he feels
and faces the world without fear.
But only now have I realized
that the other me in that parallel reality
is the person who I never was.
The person who I always wanted myself to be.
And now, it's clearer than ever.
I have been living a life full of regrets.

I'm Offline

2010-04-17T15:56:00.012+08:00

I can't believe
I've spent the last three hours interacting with a lifeless machine.
Click. Tap. Scroll. Hover. Zoom.
Looking at a bunch of funny pictures.
Playing songs at max volume.
Gazing blankly at a screen.

So lame.
And it's summer for Christ's sake.
I need a life.
Maybe I should shut this computer down.
Hit the streets.
Call a friend.
Or maybe meet someone new.
Walk until my feet get hurt.
Soak up on the beauty of the outside world.

But I don't have much of a choice, do I?
My wallet is as empty as my daydreams.
And I don't even have a car.
So I'll just stay in this chair.
Tap tap tap at the keyboard.
Until I get a headache.
FML.

Schadenfreude

2010-04-09T16:09:00.009+08:00

__A few days ago, I stumbled upon this local noontime TV show entitled Face to Face. Think The Jerry Springer Show, add a dash of Filipino-style pandemonium and top it with lots of cuss words and you've got a potential hit show that will probably shift the very paradigm of noontime family viewing.

___TV shows like these irk me for some reason. The idea of pitting people against each other in pointless verbal disputes (which sometimes go physical) on national television is nothing more to me but a clever ploy for profit. TV executives know too well that TV audiences are inherent sadists - nothing spells more fun for them than watching real people experiencing real verbal and physical violence. That's why boxing is a much-celebrated sport in the Philippines, and reality shows become big hits.

___I remember that one time when Pinoy Big Brother Double Up had this Resbak Attack gimmick - it was mudslinging and ad hominem at its best. The whole stunt disappointed me as a televiewer. What used to be a fun reality show I used to enjoy turned out to become something like a cockfight - but with less blood, more cackle and same amount of ruckus. Same goes for Face to Face.
_
___But I still watch these shows anyway. I found them surprisingly enjoyable and engaging. I may be contradicting myself now, but sometimes I like it when I get pissed off with a TV show. At least it elicits some emotion from me, unlike most shallow, overhyped things people watch nowadays.

___But that's another story.

B.S.

2010-03-29T22:28:00.014+08:00

___During my freshman year in college, there were instances when I'd be riding the LRT and some random dude from another university will blurt out; "ANG HIRAP NG MATH NAMEN!".

___Being the arrogant bastard that I was back then, I would roll my eyes and fight the urge to retort; "Yeah?! Well, wait 'til you experience our kind of math". But in the end, the only person who will hear this was myself, and I'll let the impulse subside.

___But that was before. My twisted viewpoint involved the belief that I'm better than everyone else because I was enrolled in a health science course in the "premiere" state university. Upon realizing it now, it was pretty pointless and egotistic.

___Sure, I've had my fair share of broken test tubes, acid burns and flunked exams. But what I'm glad about choosing a pre-med course is that I will never have to do equally difficult things like staying up late at night drawing blueprints, or filling out debit-credit ledgers or writing a paper about Marxism and the Class Struggle. For me, there is not really a universally-accepted "difficult" course, for the only people who get to understand the agony you are going through are the people who are experiencing the same kind of agony as yours.

___It's all a matter of familiarity and acceptance.

___A while ago, I was riding the LRT on my way home after an exasperating Organic Chemistry exam. I overheard a loud-mouthed student from another school complaining about how hard his exam was in chemistry. I just shrugged, looked out the window, and then told myself; "Yeah, I understand. We are not so different after all."

Back to the Fray

2010-03-24T22:33:00.007+08:00

This is not normal.
Tell me this is not normal.

Childish.
Highschoolish.
But I like it.

Aleatorio

2010-03-05T22:15:00.013+08:00

~ Oh my. It's the weekend. Finally.
~ Ok. I'll write anything that comes out of my head.
~ Oh shit, nothing's coming out. FFFUUUU-
~ All my laboratory classes are over. Well, not really.
~ There are still exams and reports to worry about.
~ Still, I'll be kissing my test tubes and beakers goodbye. At least for now.
~ A good, long sleep is a luxury I can't afford anymore.
~ Sleep, DotA & Pancit Shanghai - the only things that make me happy right now.
~ Just watched American Psycho. Sick. Funny. Classic.
~ Now buffering Horton Hears A Who. Yes, I'm watching those kinds of things.
~ This is the part where I talk about movies right?
~ Someone treat me to Alice in Wonderland. I'm broke.
~ I'm so broke I can't even afford a haircut.
~ JT's album FutureSex/Lovesounds sounds good. Only now have I listened to it.
~ I haven't held a violin for almost 4 months. My fingers are probably getting stiff.
~ I was a 2012 skeptic until the Chile earthquake happened.
~ Funny, the songs Heartless and Speechless are playing alternately in my head.
~ I'm not at my very best disposition right now.
~ OK Go!'s videos are legendary. Proof here.
~ I like a girl right now. She does not know. Or maybe she does.
~ But talking about it here is so highschool.
~ When made public, love rarely endures, I've read somewhere.
~ I love making lists. There's an illusion that everything's organized.
~ But these thoughts are too random. So, it's pretty much messed up anyway.
~ Like how the hydroxides of Mg and Al cancel each other's effects on the GIT.
~ That was geeky. And pedantic. And jargonistic. Not good.
~ Manila is one big hellhole. I'd prefer Marikina over it anytime.
~ Especially Taft Avenue, which rapes my lungs. Every. Frickin. Day.
~ It's hot. Mosquitoes are festering on my feet. I want Christmas back.
~ Fireflies played on the background. I'D LIKE TO MAKE MY SELF BELIEEEVE...
~ If I had Twitter, these are probably my most recent tweets.
~ The title is a Spanish word for "masturbate". Nope. I was kidding.
~ This is getting long.
~ I'm off to neverland.
~ Kthnxbye.

Hit and Run

2010-03-02T19:22:00.012+08:00

Parang ganito yun.
Isipin mo na nasa gitna ka ng kalye.
Nakita mong paparating na yung kotse.
Bumubusina na. Malakas.
Alam mong masasagasaan ka na.
Pero hindi ka pa rin gumalaw.
Nanigas ka sa takot.
Hindi ka umiwas.

Patay.

E sa tumawid ka eh.
Akala mo kaya mo.
Hindi naman pala.

Sa huli,
Patay pa rin.

I am anticipating the worst.
It's just the same as before
but what's at stake today is far greater.
I need You more right now.
Please, I'm really losing it.

Literary Stagnancy

2010-02-27T13:12:00.012+08:00

___This semester proved to be really taxing. The pressures of schoolwork have forced me to stop my ritual of finishing at least one full-length novel before a sem ends. The only books I get to read now are ancient, boring Pharmacy and Chemistry textbooks - goes to show that anything required is never fun. The last time I've read a full novel was around 5 months ago, and it was Dan Brown's latest, which I found surprisingly disappointing. I need a book. I really need to devour a good one this coming summer, lest my sanity shall slip away.

How to Win in "Showtime" with 4 Easy Ways

2010-02-21T12:46:00.021+08:00

__So, you and your cronies have passed the audition for ABS-CBN's talent-slash-variety show "Showtime". In a matter of days, you will probably be seen live on TV, with all the cameras, lights and shit. You and your crew are ready to take the stage and finally earn the much-coveted honor of being included in the finals... Well, maybe yes. Unless your choreography is as lame as Erap running for presidency again. Aside from doing the imperative backflips and headspins, you must reconsider thinking of some form of gimmick that will grab the attention of the judges and earn you that not-so-well-deserved victory. So, I present you these sure-fire ways on how to win in Showtime.

1. Include a half-naked macho hunk even if he doesn't know how to dance. This one never fails, I assure you. This will elicit lots of neurotic screams from the female-dominated audience, which is tantamount to a job well done. Well, kinda.

2. Do something that is a direct reference to a horse, or an activity that a horse participates in. This requires large, flashy horse-shaped props to be able to be executed. Though this is not as effective as the first, you'll definitely delight Vice Ganda, which pretty much sums up your purpose of joining this talent show anyway.

3. Include a child. But you must make sure that: (a) The child is a veeeeery good dancer, (b) The child looks cute and (c) the child dances in the very front. Boy or girl - it does not matter, as long as you give him/her enough screen time to be noticed, but not too much so as not to be too obvious. The younger, the better. If you can find a fetus that can do backflips, then you've got yourself a winner.

4. Tell a very inspiring story about your dance group. The story does not necessarily be true, but all your crew should be consistent about it, or else it will fail. The most effective ones include: you and your gang were once drug addicts/thieves/murderers but are now converted saints who dance hip-hop. Or some friend dying because of [insert disease] which inspired the group to dance on TV. Be creative with the story, make it as realistic as possible and you should project well in the VTR.

__A combination of 2 or more of these will ensure the victory of your group. But when you have already used up all the four aforementioned methods but you still ended up empty-handed, well, you must accept the reality that your group sucks. If such is the case; I'm deeply sorry. Loser.

Bacchus

2010-02-04T22:09:00.020+08:00

Bacchus, the Roman God of wine and intoxication

__It was almost a year ago, back during my first year in college. It was a hazy afternoon, hours before my second Long Exam in College Algebra. I decided to stop by a 24-hour convenience store near our school to get myself some dark chocolate (FYI, I used to have this habit of gobbling up dark chocolates while taking an exam, with the thought that they helped me stay awake and focused). I can still remember how sleepy I was that time; the sky was overcast and my body clock was out of sync. A perfect day for sleep, ruined by a goddamn Math exam.

__And now we have a problem; inevitably, we seek a solution. Hot Coffee? Nope. Not at that time of day. Mint Candy? God, those things dry up my mouth like hell. Being the curious little boy I was, I finally decided to try drinking a "hardcore" energy drink for a change. Finally, I got myself a pack of M&M's Dark Chocolate, a can of energy drink and a steadfast belief that this combination would be awesome. Afterwards, I chugged down the golden, apple-flavored liquid and I felt a surge of positive energy zapping through my nerves, just like what the commercials said. I became alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic. Or so I thought.

__Exam proper. For some weird reason, my heart was palpitating. Tachycardic. As if I drank a hundred cups of coffee. Great. I also felt a strange ulcer-like pain in my tummy, as if Wolverine was going Berserker Barrage X on my stomach lining. It was painful beyond words. I wasn't able to think straight the whole time, and a slight headache was making things worse. The bag of M&M's was still beside me, still left unopened. Crap, I thought, It would've been better if just went home and slept...

__I got a 47% in that exam; the lowest grade I got for a Math exam in my whole life. From that day on, I promised myself never to trust energy drinks. EVER. They are the creations of the Devil, made from the juice of the Forbidden Fruit. It is a sparkling, liquid death-in-a-can. It is sugarcoated murder in disguise.

__I will never be drinking these kinds of things ever again.

On Sports

2010-01-30T11:09:00.029+08:00

__I'm a sucker when it comes to sports, regrettably.

__If I was a Greek man living during the ancient times, I would probably be a boring scholar of Athens, while most other men were trigger-happy Spartans who went to war or participated in the Olympics; Spartans whom the Gods highly favored.

__I never forced myself to be athletic, ever since I was a kid. Back during my childhood, my kuya have always tried to persuade me to at least try basketball on our nearby kanto half-court. But being the lethargic, wimpy child I was back then, I always refused. Instead, I immersed myself in books and encyclopedias that our father bought for us which, it seems, I was the only one who managed to appreciate. During my free time, I'll sit on my own desk and bury my face in books about rocketships, subatomic particles or the mating patterns of bees. I'd doodle my own anime characters and watch my favorite TV shows, while my peers were sweating under the sweltering heat of the sun. Simply put, I chose to become a nerd . That's why I got the matalinong bunso impression in our family, which is half-true, since the matalino part is a lie.

__Of course, I never let myself be a hopeless case. But one must first learn that there is a clear delineation between knowing something as compared to being good at it. Well, I can proudly say that I know how to play basketball or volleyball but unfortunately, I am NOT good at either of the two. I never enjoyed team sports, because they are prone to pressure; unfortunately, I was never the competitive type. That's why I never had fun playing team sports. So I engrossed myself in effortless "solo sports" like swimming, bowling, biking and running as an effort to at least keep my body from bloating up. And yeah, I still enjoy "for-fun" games like patintero and dodgeball the same way I enjoyed them as a kid.

__Although there are a couple sports I still wanna try like tennis, billiards and baseball (I know, baseball is a team sport but it's too cool that it's an exemption), I think I'm too old to start over again. Oh well, c'est la vie.

hELLoW fhOeZ jeJeJeje

2010-01-23T14:03:00.009+08:00

I used to do ToGgLe cApS when I was in second year highschool with the lingering, immature belief that it was cool.

But then I grew up.

It's about time you fucktards do so, too.
Give your pinky fingers a rest.

Hurray for Suffrage

2010-01-12T22:41:00.016+08:00

FAIL. Seriously, who would fall for this crap?

__Honestly, I don't feel even a sliver of regret for not being able to register as a registered voter. (Haha. I love the redundancy)

__Everytime I convince myself that I shouldn't have procrastinated and went anyway, the next thought that comes to mind of course, juxtaposed to the aforementioned, are the presidentiables that I would've planned on voting.

__That's when everything gets messed up.

__Noynoy Aquino is not worth the fuss. Highly overrated. But definitely the lesser evil, I guess. I cannot disregard the thought that he is just "taking advantage" of the situation. He wasn't really active "politically" (whatever that means) before his mother died. Running for the highest seat wasn't in his plans (and heart) all along, it seems. I don't even know a bill he managed to pass while he was in the senate. A passive, subpar leader is the last thing this country needs.

__Manny Villar. Oh, it's the Manny Villar. It's the TraPo incarnate. Florid promises. Headache-inducing jingles. Campaign gimmicks. He looks at things through rose-colored glasses - it's either he's too idealistic or he's just a good, telegenic liar. Aiming for the trust of the feeble-minded masses is a blatantly obvious move, and he is too one-dimensional. Predictable. And sneaky.

__Dick Gordon is meh. He won't win.

__Gibo Teodoro is far too dangerous. He would've been one of my bets; he's smart and he's got what it takes. But being the standard bearer of Lakas-Kampi, I can't help but think that he's nothing but a pawn to GMA's plans. Running for congress. Parliament. Cha-cha. Stepping down. Prime Minister. You connect the dots.

__Erap Estrada? Seriously? Serious-fucking-ly?! When will he (and those people who still believe on a corrupt, half-baked excuse for a president) ever learn?

__Eddie Villanueva strikes again, but fiercer than ever and now with a bigger army. But I can't see the Philippines under his rule. Sorry, I really can't.

__Jamby Madrigal is bleh. She won't win.

__JC de los Reyes who?

__Yes, I do exercise my right NOT to vote.

Yearender

2009-12-31T17:30:00.011+08:00

Endings are beginnings.

___Though it is not really a good idea to start off my entry with a cliché-ish sentence, these three words will pretty much sum up my expectations for 2010. I want this coming year to be kickass, and I want to start back to zero. Tabula rasa, as I recall my lessons in Philosophy.

___Looking back at the year that has passed, I can say 2009 was the worst of my life so far. Imagine a naked man tied up to a post with fire ants covering his whole body, his pubic hair being plucked by crows one by one and his ears being forced to listen to Nobody by the Wondergirls every freakin' minute. Yes, that's how miserable it is. There are a few highlights here and there, but the tragedies will probably outshadow them all. By a loooooong shot. Lots of people died. Dad almost lost his job. We were Ondoy-ed (Yep, it's now a verb). Recession and other whatshits. Removal exams. Personal issues. You catch my drift.

___But hey, to look at the brightside, I'M STILL ALIVE! And our house (which was swallowed by the flood from the bottom up to the roof) does not look like a muddy cave anymore. Actually, it looks pretty nice already. We've got most of our furnitures and appliances back. And relatives have been unusually generous. Christmas wasn't really as bad as I expected. In a span of three months, we have recovered.

It's a start, more or less.

Good riddance, 2009.
Hello 2010. Please be awesome.

*cue Auld Lang Syne tune here*

P.S. There are loads of schoolwork to do and I'm procrastinating. Hell yeah.

A Christmas Story

2009-12-22T22:03:00.003+08:00

__He is driving at 120 miles per hour, and he is not overspeeding by any means. No, definitely not at this altitude. It has been a windy December night, only a few days before Christmas. His forehead is sweaty from this unusual tropical climate, his butt sore from sitting in his cramped up sleigh for the last eight days and his long, white beard has gone unkempt and messy. The Philippines is a good 15,000 miles from where he lives, and traveling has been bumpy and dragging - he had to cross the European countryside and the jagged peaks of the Himalayas just to follow his scheduled itinerary. He have always felt a little envy for his little reindeer helpers, for they seem to never get tired - they're always jittery, always on a rush. Well, that's good, he thought. He just wants to get this job over with as quickly as possible; he can't afford any form of detour or delay. Definitely not in this humid, sleepy city. The heat is going to kill him.

__If there is one thing that he enjoys in his job as a gift-giver, it's the intoxication he gets whenever he gets to fly his sleigh to anywhere he wants. From up above, he can see the wide horizon beyond. The evening landscape in the Philippines is boring at best - starless, jet-black and ominously sinister. How boring, he told himself. From where he lives, he can clearly see the Aurora almost every day that he have somehow gone tired of its magic. He chuckled at this thought, for he usually gets "Trip to North Pole" as a wish that children usually wrote on their Christmas lists. If only they knew how cold it could get. He now shifted his glance onto the landscape below, and saw nothing but roofs made of corrugated iron (there are no chimneys, fortunately, which makes his job much more easier, since all he has to do is leave his gifts by the doorway) and dark alleys lined by trash of all shapes and sizes. The alleys are illuminated only by muted incandescent lights from inside the shanties that lined the intertwining streets. The air in this place is particularly damp and it smelled of soot, smoke and cockroaches. It was unsettling, even for a man of his stature.

__This place had become a mess. And it was totally different from what it was during the last time he had been here, maybe 10 or 20 years ago.

__Back then, this place would've been full of twinkling lights and lanterns of different colors. Kids should be outside singing Christmas carols with their makeshift tambourines and drums. Ten or so years ago, he should be smiling right at this very place in the sky, looking below at the beautiful Christmas scenery which the Philippines was famous for. But today, the streets are empty and silent (well, except for a faint, incomprehensible groaning from a distance; his best bet is a tone-deaf dipsomaniac singing through a karaoke machine). He suddenly felt a pang of grief, but he quickly dismissed it. I'm here for business, he told himself. Pure business.

__He lashed his trusty leather whip and a sharp, splitting crack tore the silence that enveloped the calm stillness of the night - but nobody below seemed to notice. His reindeers got the point, and immediately poised themselves to approach lower ground. And, like a weary pilot surveying the ground for a landing platform, he gestured his reindeers to move toward an empty lot by the side of a street curb. Good thing there are not too many trees in these place though, or else his reindeers and their antlers'll definitely get stuck from the branches and all hell will break loose.

__He got off his sleigh and fished out a notebook and a pen from his breast pocket. All he have to do is check how many houses in this area have children, so come Christmas day, he'll never have problems with auditing, inventory and the like - things he never really enjoyed but ones he is required to do. He'd better get this done already or he'll never get to give all the gifts on time, which he particularly hated. He looked around and found out that this lot was a basketball court of some sort, and he felt from his boots a strange dampness on the ground. He recalled how this exact placed looked like during his last visit - this was a grassy field years ago, but not the kind where you plant crops, but a wide expanse of land lined with tall grass where one can lie down and look at the evening sky. Times quickly change, he thought. Even the kids have changed; not so many of them believe in him anymore. He even used to get wishlists from 12 year-olds before, but it seems adolescents today would rather dress themselves up for late-night Christmas parties rather than wait for a fat, old man to come sliding down their chimney flues. And the kids' Christmas wishes now range from absurd to really absurd things as well - you can't just give them toy trains or wooden puppets nowadays. They want their gifts electronic, expensive and effortless. This thought saddens him. Yes, times do change. He let out a quick, heaving sigh and moved on.

__He walked along the dark alleys as inconspicuously as possible. He frequently glanced left and right, then he'll put a quick check mark on his notebook, sometimes peeking through small windows on the small makeshift shacks just to check once more, and finally walk on. There is the occasional street cat - probably scouring to find a fleshy sewer rat to feast on - but he never paid much attention to it. The stench in this place is unbearable, and along with his ceaseless sweating, he'll probably throw this red, silk suit upon reaching home. There are better things to focus on, but he'll definitely do it.

__Suddenly, a loud growl broke his ruminations, startling him and derailing his train of thought. A rabid dog has just gone ballistic upon seeing him and has started snarling at him. - mouth frothing, fangs gnashing. He fought the urge to taunt the chained mutt, but he thought better of himself. He just trudged quickly and fearfully away - no wimpy, little canine will ever blow his cover. Not today. He carried on in his checking, glancing and walking like an obedient, little clockwork toy.

__It took him almost three hours to finish the whole ordeal, and he is sweating like hell. He walked heavily now, his feet dragging on the cold pavement. The air has gone a little colder, and the night has reached its darkest peak. He is tired and his eyelids have gone heavy and are now begging for a quick nap. Ah, the shackles of aging. He never thought this place have gone that big - the number of houses has tripled since his last visit. But nevertheless, he's done. And all he wants to do is get into his sleigh, fly to Ireland, make a quick stop there, maybe drink some ale and go home to North Pole. He is imagining the warm, bitter liquor cascading down his throat; he needs a compensation for this job well done. This thought fueled him to walk faster; back to the empty lot where he left his sleigh. He turned left and right through this dark, labyrinthine slums and hoping that his memory will never fail him.

__He turned right to an empty alleyway where he noticed two men (who are pretty drunk themselves, he observed) walking towards him. He shot a quick glimpse behind him - nothing but darkness. He is totally alone. He shot another glance at the men, their dark figures silhouetted by the moonlight, and they are now charging head-on to him. He is very much aware of an imminent danger, and it is rushing towards him with a bloodsthirsty look and a devilish sneer. His sweat glands must have probably gone amuk by this time, and panic is taking over every fiber of his flesh. He paced backward, trying to avoid his misfortune, but the men are too fast. He is heavy and tired, and he can actually feel his heart thumping out of his chest. Fuck, I'm doomed, he realized.

__"Akin na ang pera mo." said one of the men; a brusque, tawny native. He can't understand a thing the native said - he doesn't even have the slightest clue about the local language being used in this place. The other man - a small, bald local wearing a loose shirt with tattoos all over his arms - had a small switchknife aimed at the left side of his victim's bulging abdomen. "Give your money!" reiterated the brusque man, now with conviction. He can very well understand the situation even if the man hadn't spoken English. His sweaty palms fumbled for his side pockets, but there is nothing there but a piece of chocolate chip cookie which he brought in case he gets hungry. He reached for it and fished it out, only to lose grip of it in the process. The cookie plummeted to the ground and he decided not to reach for it, since he couldn't anyway with the bald man's hand wrapped around his sweaty neck. He waved both his hands to make a gesture that says he has nothing left in him. The men groped for his pockets vigorously, only to find out that the fat, old, bearded man in the funny red suit is telling the truth. No cellphone. Not even a wallet. Just a notebook full of written gibberish and a pen. "Walang kwenta naman pala tong foreyner na 'to" croaked the thin, bald man. The other man tore the notebook out of frustration and gave his victim a swift blow in the stomach. The unfortunate victim lurched in pain and he felt his knees crumble. At that moment, he felt all the faculties of his consciousness go blank and his world is now spinning like hell. He collapsed head-first to the ground, the side of his face touching the cold, asphalt street and his eyes bloodshot with pain. His vision have gone blurry and the last thing he saw was the two men running away, before his sight had gone totally black.

__He had gone unconscious for a full ten minutes, lying motionless in the street, before he finally got back to his knees. He picked up his notebook, now torn into shreds, and his pen. He trudged painfully onward, slower than ever before, back to the empty basketball court where he left his sleigh and his dignity. He still feels dizzy, a little bit nauseous and still perspiring like crazy. He is trying his best to muffle his heavy breathing and the awkward pitter-patter of his feet. The last thing he wants now is a mob of smelly locals clamoring for him like they have seen an alien or Bigfoot or Osama bin Laden. I'm Santa Claus, for Christ's sake. I don't deserve this. I give your darn gifts!, he mused. He finally found the empty lot, quickly mounted his sleigh, cracked his whip and off he sprung into the cold night sky. "I'm not going back to this goddamn place" he said, in a disgusted tone. He cracked his whip once again and the fat, old, bearded man in the funny red suit with his sleigh and his reindeers suddenly sped off into the blank stillness of the night.

Santa Visits Manila
a short story
by LJCFlores (c) 2009

Checklist for 2nd Sem AY 2009-2010

2009-11-04T22:02:00.000+08:00

It's funny how I am able to find excuses for my very disappointing academic performances for the last two semesters. A few months back, I've blamed my DotA habit for ruining my grades during the second half of my first year in UPM. But bad habits seem to be very hard to break, aren't they? At the start of my second year, I still haven't manage to let go of my DotA hunger, and moreover, along came the biggest mistake I have ever made in college - Facebook. And like a meteorite plummeting down to earth at blinding speed, I felt my grades crash and burn - along with my self-esteem. And after the whole agenda, I cannot actually explain to my folks that Facebook and DotA were the reasons why 3's, 5's and INC's suddenly sprouted out of my classcards like mushrooms after a thunderstorm. I have always been - and should always be - responsible for my own faults.

It's a good 2 months away before New Year comes, but it's about time that I make myself a real resolution. A "New Sem" Resolution. Maybe it's time to get back to serious business. And if ever a distraction has to come this next semester, please, let it be a girl.

Checklist for 2nd Semester AY 2009-2010

__ Aim for 0 absences for all subjects.
__ Never be late. Don't snooze the wake-up alarm.
__ Take your PE and GE subjects seriously.
__ Be aware that a library exists. Utilize it.
__ Realize that in-between breaks are NOT made for slacking.
__ Dismiss the idea of shifting. This was your first choice, remember?
__ DotA sessions should only be done AT MOST twice a week.
__ Minimize exposure to social-networking sites.
__ Use the power of caffeine in times of dire need.
__ Keep track of deadlines.
__ Learn to prioritize things.
__ Study. Study. Study. Say it like a mantra.
__ Don't take detours after dismissal time.
__ ~~Impress the prof.~~
__ Punch or hit something to relieve stress.
__ Don't underestimate the power of prayer.
__ Finally, believe in yourself.

P.S.
Fuck you Ondoy. You are definitely the cherry on top of an AWESOME semester.

Hi, I’m Lj

2009-09-12T21:01:00.001+08:00

How do you pronounce your name?

> El jei
what is your age backwards?
> 81.
how do you feel today?
> Bored.

I. Friendship

who are your best friend(s)?
> I don't consider anyone as a bestfriend.
what friend do you tell EVERYTHING to?
> I don't tell EVERYTHING to anyone.
what friend makes the most perverted jokes?
> We all make the perverted jokes.
who do you talk to the most in person?
> Ken, Chris, L, RD, DM... My Dota and LRT buddies.

II. Back to school:

what year are you goin into?
> 2nd year College.
which period are you doing the best at?
> Pharm Chem 125 Lab. HAHA. NOT. Siguro Psych10.
which period are you doing the worse at?
> Pharm Chem 125 Lec. I sometimes lose my consciousness.
which teacher do you fear the most?
> Ma'am Chem150?
are you changing to a new school this year?
> No... hopefully.
is someone else changing schools?
> Changing courses. But changing schools? NAHHH.
who was your second grade crush?
> Any girl with long black hair and fair complexion was my crush back then.
name two friends from other courses.
> Jealyn Valenzuela. Julian Malabanan.
name two friends from other schools.
> Reinald vergara, Reina Habijan

III. Childhood:

what did you want your job to be?
> Doctor.
who is your favorite teacher out of all of them?
> Ma'am Intia. Grade 2 teacher. Very very very well educated. :)
what was one reason you cried?
> I got on a fighting spree with a bully.
what shows did you never want to miss?
> Heidi. Julio at Julia. Cedie. Ghost Fighter. Y'know, the classics.

IV. Favorites:

Chocolate: Toblerone Dark
Color: White
Shoe brand: Nike.
Website: Facebook.com
Theme park: Enchanted Kingdom
Instrument: Violin
Song: Life in Technicolor II

V. Miss:

what grade do you miss the most?:
> 3rd and 4th Year Highschool
who’s the first friend that comes to your mind that you miss?
> Generally, Germanium and Emerald people.
what else do you miss?:
> 3x4 Military haircut during First Mondays of the Month

VI. Lies:

ever signed up for those online dating sites?:
> No.
ever lied about your age?:
> No.
ever lied to impress someone?:
> Maybe. Unconsciously.
ever lied to freeload?:
> Yes. But I'm not proud of it. :|
ever used someone?:
> Almost? ;)

VII. This or that:

Crunchie or kitkatt: Kit-Kat. And what the f*ck is a Crunchie anyway?
Myspace or facebook: Facebook. damn.
Flowers or chocolate?: Chocolate. What the f*ck will I do with flowers?
Watch the news or historical teachings?: History. News is crap nowadays.
Hold hands or kiss?: BOTH. At the same time. ;)
White chocolate or dark?: I'll happily devour either of the two.

VIII. Random:

what color are your shoes?:
> Mostly a combination of black, white and gray.
what was the last theme park you’ve been to?
> Star City.
name one thing you remember from history class:
> Tugbuc and Sacra. Primitive Filipino sex toys.
what mood are you in right now?:
> Bored.
who was the last person you IMed ?:
> Christian So, asking for A Chem18 Report.
who was the last person added on your Facebook:
> Pia Yap.
who was the last person deleted on your Facebook:
> Some girl I added but I didn't personally know.
who did you last hang out with?:
> Ken and L.

IX. Last:

Person you saw: Mama.
Talked to on the phone: Tita Becky.
Messaged over MySpace: No Myspace Account.
IM’d: Didn't you ask this before?

X. Today:

What are you doing right now?
> Facebooking. Watching video streams. Bumming, generally.
Wearing?
> Normal home clothes. Shirt plus shorts plus underwear.
Better than yesterday?
> Not yet.
Did you see the person you like?
> I can always look at her pictures. ;)
What’s the weather?
> Cold. And wet.
What’s bothering you right now?
> My absences in my PE class (Arnis).
What is in your wallet?
> Kung anu-anong shit. :D
Wallpaper on your computer’s desktop?
> It's all black. My copy of Windows is not genuine, so it seems.
Next time you will kiss someone?
> As soon as possible. :)
Where was your default picture taken?
> Dining room.
Life:
> Incomplete.
House:
> Clean as a whistle.
Doing this weekend?
> Watch the UAAP Cheerdance... on the TV. I didn't manage to get tickets. Bummer.
If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
> Abs. Hahahaha.
Listening to?
> Love, Sex, Magic by J.T. & Ciara
What do you smell like?
> Uhm.... human?
Eating?
> Bacon + pandesal
On your bed, what is your favorite thing?
> Pillow.
Do you believe in a soulmate?
> No. Cheesy masyado.
What do you wear to bed?
> Nothing. Hehe. Joke lang. The usual house clothes.
Do you remember your dreams?
> Rarely.
Do you burn easily in the sun?
> I dunno. I get sunburns, if that's what you mean.
What’s something you wish you could understand better?
> Women.
What did you do last weekend?
> Overslept.
Who do you miss?
> A lot of people.
Who is the last girl you hugged?
> SAIRA.
Who is the last boy you hugged?
> Si Reinald ata.
Who was the last person you went somewhere with?
> Didn't you ask this before?
Do you like someone right now?
> Yes
What is the last movie you watched? With who?
> KIMMY DORA with Lester and Ken. It's too funny to miss. Watch it, srsly.
Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
> Water. Water. Water.
What are you excited about?
> UAAP Cheerdance.
Do you want someone you can’t have?
> Guilty.
Where was the last place you went?
> CR
What’s on your mind right now?
> Multiply is dying.
If an unstoppable force comes across an immovable object, then what happens?
> Ask Einstein.

~ Grabbed from L Gonzaga.

Post Mortem †

2009-08-30T21:00:00.000+08:00

It's like floating in the middle of a vast ocean, stuck with no food or water, consumed by despair and with no hope of salvation whatsoever. Even if you are quick enough to gather your wits and try to swim, you get a pang of terror upon realizing that if you do you'll just end up, still, nowhere. It's like waiting for your lips and throat to dry up, letting every cell in your body shrivel and dehydrate to death. It's like waiting for your feet to just go numb and finally succumb to exhaustion. It's like waiting for a school of sharks to come and feast upon every fiber of your flesh.

And in the end, you have no one to blame but yourself for getting into this mess.
Would you sink or swim? Either way, you'll just end up dead.

WTF?! Video

2009-08-10T20:57:00.000+08:00

What better way to wrap up the WTF?! Series? Of course, a WTF?! Video!

Warning: Explicit content. Well, kinda.

Robogeisha, ftw!
Ano, natunaw ba utak mo?
May logical explanation ka ba para sa concept ng trailer na yan?
As the Cebuanos will put it: "Nalibog ako!"
Oh, Japan!

* * * *

I feel giddy.

WTF? Pic (Part 2)

2009-08-03T20:54:00.000+08:00

Can somebody... anybody... please enlighten me.

What the hell is happening in this picture?

Baffled, I am.
Once again.

WTF? Pic (Part 1)

2009-07-30T20:51:00.000+08:00

Can somebody please explain to me....

What the hell is going on in this photo?

Seriously, what the f*ck?

(More soon...)

Blogging Blunders: There are some things we should never share in the internet

2009-07-25T20:41:00.000+08:00

This is a blog entry.

This is a written manifestation of our right to self expression and freedom of speech in the modern world. This can present facts, insights or a simple account of an individual's day-to-day experience. But this can also reek of rants, narcissism and senseless blabbers which people wouldn't really pay any attention to in real life. One thing to remember, though, is that when we blog, the world is our audience. And in this generation when one cannot use the words fag, nigger or kike without getting a few eyebrows raised, one wrong statement can turn your blog entry into a big, bad mess - and that's really when the fun starts.

So, let's look back on two of the most notorious blog entries of the past that have kept the local blog scene buzzing for quite a while. Their legacy (and failure) shall never be forgotten...

Exhibit A: The UP Cat Serial Killer

The Fiasco:

Boy hates cats. Boy meets cat. Boy kills cat. It's like something straight out of a serial killer's childhood account of animal violence. But there are two facts that we have just overlooked, ones that are very hard to ignore. One, the boy is technically no longer a boy; he is a UP college student (which is not much of a help, since UP students have always been known to be twisted in one way or another). And two, he blogged about his sadistic exploit with an amour-propre that even a butcher will feel chills while reading it. I consider the latter as his biggest failure ever.

Aww. Who would want to kill this cute kitteh?

The Perpetrator:

The boy's name is Joseph Carlo "JC" Candare, a sophomore BS Applied Physics student in UP Diliman. In his Multiply blog (which doesn't exist anymore, but poor JC, Google kept a cached copy of his blog entry and you can read it here), he gave a blow-by-blow (pun intended) account of how he supposedly killed a resident kitten of his mother college in Diliman, Quezon City. He deliberately jumped at the poor kitty (named Tengteng), his feet landing on the kitty's frail little body. He even called it an "accidental crime". And I quote JC; "Slam! Felt good!". Well, can't blame him if that is his fetish. I myself enjoy putting salt on worms and seeing them writhe in pain. Woops. Pretend I didn't say that.

JC Perry? I didn't make this photo, seriously.

My Two Cents:

First, don't kill cats. They're too cute in their own right, lest you shall provoke the ire of internet cat-lovers with burning stakes ready to tear you apart (visit Tengteng's petition site here). Kill sewer rats and cockroaches instead - nobody cares if they get killed and you can actually blog about it and expect praise thereafter. Second, don't expect sympathy when you say sorry after doing something hideous. No one will believe you are sorry, and people will just spam your comment box with equally shitty insults. And third, you should've posted your entry for selected contacts. That way, your little brutal secret wouldn't have made a public fuss, so you and your friends can all just laugh on your psycho blog shit. Right? Right?

Exhibit B: The Conyo Aeta Hater

The Fiasco:

WRONG. It doesn't really matter whether you posted a blog entry for everyone or for your friends only. Whatever you put in the internet becomes public property - and that's the rule of thumb in blogging. Look at what happened to this girl who, in an attempt to sound funny and conyo to her Facebook friends, blogged about how she felt disgusted with the Aetas during her 'immersion' with them. Ironic? Fret not, I felt that way too.

They are hellbent on revenge, amirite?

The Perpetrator:

Tracy Isabel Borres. AB Psychology. Ateneo de Manila University. (What more could she ask for? She's living the Atenean dream!) The whole thing was supposed to be a Contacts-only blog entry that accounts her immersion activity meant to improve her spiritual well-being. But what we see is a detailed rant of an air-headed, matapobre kolehiyala and her racist insults which you would probably expect to hear from Imelda Marcos when she's on drugs. Maybe the post was meant to show her sick sense of humor to her Facebook friends, but one of them didn't find the post funny, not even cool, and took screenshots of the entry and distributed it for all the intarwebz to see (complete entry here. Feel free to cuss). I know it's treacherous and wrong to distribute someone else's private blog entry, but who cares, anyway?

Her nose begs for attention. I think it got what it deserved.

My Two Cents:

So, what went wrong? There's this one thing to remember: never trust anyone in the internet; even your Facebook friends or Multiply contacts. She must reconsider or completely wipe out her friend's list. So, the next time you are about to publish a malicious tirade on the internet, make sure the people who will read it are people you personally know. Especially if what you are going to say can possibly offend a specific group of people. And if all else fails, prepare your apologies quickly, for stones will be cast upon you even before you can say "sorry". Or might as well consider yourself dead.

The Final Cut:

I've been blogging for the last 5 years or so, and I've had my own share of, uhm, blogging mishaps. But one thing I learned is that privacy in the Internet is like Santa Claus... It doesn't exist. Unless you want to become an obnoxious internet celebrity, don't do something shitty on the internet. ,And if you are about to, think twice, thrice or don't even think about it at all. They say 1.5 billion people worldwide use the internet. And let's say maybe 1/5 are bloggers and blog readers. Remember that with one wrong statement, the world can always pay attention. Lest you incur the wrath of this 300 million people, may the gods of technology smile upon your poor damned soul, as it rots in the depths of internet hell.

~

2009-06-28T20:40:00.000+08:00

Poetic Licence
by me

Tonight,
I could write a verse
that speaks of birds and flowers dear
of hills and mountains and dandelions;
but I choose not to.

Tonight,
my words ought speak
of tears, and hearts and broken dreams
of love unrequited and sad memories;
but I choose not to.

Instead,
I'll write a poem
without rhymes or symbols or whatever shit
put words so tasteless, shallow and uncouth
to make you feel sick.

I scoff,
at your words so florid
you can grow a garden with it
I mock,
at your style that will even
put an insomniac to sleep
I slur,
at your poetic clichés
that even Pablo Neruda would cringe
I laugh,
at how you try so hard
to sound insightful and deep

Shall we end this?
'cause I can't keep up with your wussiness
and as you rant how shitty my poetry is
or how my verses lack any rhythm
Alas! I say to you,
I'm not a fucking poet -
And writing this crap
makes
me
wanna
throw
up.

PTNGNA -- A Series of Rants to Spoil your Mood

2009-06-24T20:36:00.000+08:00

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat... blah blah these senseless blabbers are intended for you not to have an idea of what you'll about to read.

PTNGNA, three days na akong pabalik-balik sa UP Manila para mag-enroll.

PTNGNA, sa three days na yon di pa rin ako tapos.

PTNGNA, lahat ng delay na yan dahil sa PTNGNAng printer na yan.

PTNGNA, di naman ako pwede magreklamo dahil PUBLIC SCHOOL ang UP.

PTNGNA, pati pala yung ulan, nakakainis.

PTNGNA, STFAP; di naman ako mayaman pero di ako inapprove for Bracket C.

PTNGNA, andaming proseso yang Student Loan na yan.

PTNGNA, pasukan nanaman.

PTNGNA, ang ganda ng schedule ko. HUM2 ang inenlist ko!!!! Very ARTSY!!!

PTNGNA, (hindi ko pwede sabihin)

PTNGNA, gusto ko pa bang mag-Pharmacy? Oo! Oo!

PTNGNA, walang magagawa ang self-motivation.

PTNGNA, sawa na ako kay Katrina Halili at Hayden Kho.

PTNGNA, may A(H1N1) case sa La Salle.

PTNGNA, ubos na yung inuupakan kong dark chocolate.

PTNGNA, click mo 'to. Yamot di ba?

PTNGNA, sa sobrang yamot ko Tagalog na 'tong post ko.

PTNGNA, nawala ang mga english blah blah na dapat isusulat ko.

PTNGNA, things aren't going well.

PTNGNA, mahal na kita. LOL.

"Walang mangyayari sa buhay mo hangga't di ka tumitigil sa paninisi sa naging kapalaran mo."

- Langgam, Alamat ng Gubat (Bob Ong)

One More Time

2009-04-27T20:34:00.000+08:00

Making friends is rather easy. But keeping them is the real challenge. I was too caught up with all the overwhelming but superficial happenings of the present, that I forgot to look back to all my past experiences - and the people in it - that I took for granted too soon. I'm too confined on my own self-centered little world that I nearly lost people that I once shared great memories with. People who knew me inside-out. People that walked with me in my journey. People I unconsciously, and quite regrettably, failed to appreciate.

I am the kind of person who doesn't dwell too much in the past, and I prefer to look at life as a one-way street where I must keep moving forward - no pit stops, no U-turns. But life doesn't work that way, does it? People come and go - and it's up to you whether you keep them or let them hover away. And you don't have the right to whine about it when it happens. But once you feel that I'm finally drifting away, I beg, please pull me back in; and I'll try my best to stay. I may not be walking right by your side, but I'm just two or three steps behind.

P.S. I hate the rain. Nagiging emo ako.

ABCDEFGHIJK Hell

2009-04-16T20:33:00.000+08:00

Current Mood: Bored.
Current Music: Gives You Hell - All-American Rejects
Current Thought: Oh, I'm such a good, no wait, I'm such a great stalker. :D

Looking back on how I spent my second semester, I realized it wasn't that crappy at all. Actually, it was kinda worth it. I can't believe so many interesting things have happened in a span of five months. I learned about monkeys, integrals, colligative properties, invalid arguments and distillation processes. I climbed walls (both literally and figuratively) and got my feet to rub 5 KM of asphalt (and finishing 31st out of hundreds, YAY! for me). I sang in front of an audience, experienced my first Lantern Parade, went to LOTS of places, watched R-18 films, taught grade 3 kids English stuff, and found another ______ to ______ (you fill those in). Now that's what I call a semester rather well spent. :)

Summer's here. I'm tagged so might as well answer it and be a bum. Bored eh.

* * * *

Rules: Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real nothing made up! You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question. Tag 10 people! Have Fun!

1. What is your name: Lawrence Jay

2. A four Letter Word: Lips

3. A boy's Name: Lance

4. A girl's Name: Lea

5. An occupation: Lawyer. Lobotomist :D

6. A color: uhm. err. Light blue. Light green. Ayun. Oh shit, lavender pa pala. :D

7. Something you wear: LAB GOWN. (woo, ang tagal ko inisip yun)

9. A food: LASAGNA (all caps to signify I'm hungry)

10. Something found in the bathroom: Lotion. :D

11. A place: La Union

12. A reason for being late: Late nagising. :D or a Leaking faucet. haha.

13. Something you shout: LOLZ! or LECHE!

14. A movie title: Love Actually

15. Something you drink: Lemon Iced Tea (sheesh, masyado 'tong madali)

16. A musical group: Linkin Park

17. An animal: Leopard. Lion. Lioness :)

18. A street name: Langka St.

19. A type of car: Lamborghini. Or Lexus.

20. The title of a song: Lovebug - Jonas Brothers (first song that came to mind, srsly)

I tag: No one. :)

Image credits:

http://www.southofboston.net/specialreports/rebecca/images/lawyer-gd-072507-09.jpg
http://www.sinepil.org/imaj/farumbey/love-actually-287656760.jpg
http://www.bonappetit.com/images/tips_tools_ingredients/slideshow/2008/06/ttss_lasagna_v.jpg
http://cars.blogs.ca/images/Lamborghini-Concept-S.jpg

A Video, Some Pictures and a Meme

2009-03-29T20:30:00.000+08:00

As most of you are already at home, slacking off, wallowing on your freedom from schoolwork and getting yourselves fatter right at this moment, I'm still at the verge of hysteria - academic hysteria, that is. This coming week, I still got four Final exams to mull over and I don't feel so summer-y at all (maybe, except for the fact that the weather is insanely hot). Maybe ranting about acads won't get you all cheery and happy, and I don't want to spoil your oh-so-sunny mood, so, hayaan niyo akong mag-share ng mga bagay-bagay.

[It's fun when you suddenly shift languages, ain't it? You suddenly lose the coherence]

The Video Part

Look at that.

Look. At. That. That hideous... uhm.. thing. It looks like human excrement at the first few seconds then it suddenly becomes a growing tree branch and during its final moments it looks like some alien tentacle thingy. But in reality it's a chemical substance, Mercury (II) Thiocyanate, which is formed by reacting a mercury(II) salt with a thiocyanate saltin solution in water, producing a precipitate of mercury(II) thiocyanate (thanks, Wikipedia). When ignited, it decomposes to form ash several times its volume while giving off poisonous mercury vapors. (And apparently, I sound like a chemistry geek)

Disgusting? Amazing? You be the judge.

The Picture Part

I've always been in awe of the concept behind MyHeritage. Nope, it doesn't have all the ubiquity of Twitter or the helpfulness of Digg ~~or the excitement provided by RedTube~~, but hey, having your face compared to a celebrity's gotta account for something, no? But then, I just gotta hafta subject it to a test to find out, once and for all, why I had Franky Muniz and Jennifer Lopez as my celebrity look-alikes.

WTF. Nakakadegrade naman kay Kokey para maging kamukha ni Jim Carrey. It's KOKEY ALMIGHTY. LOL.

I LOL'd. Seriously.

The Meme Part

The Band Meme

Your band is Moonfish. Album title is The World in an Odious Light.
*Sounds cool enough, in a band-ish sense*

---

To do this:
1. Go to Wikipedia. Hit “random”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
- The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2. Go to "Random Quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
- The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3. Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
- Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

Try it. Anong nakuha mo? Share. :)

* Credits to Raehein on Flickr for the photo.

2009-03-19T20:27:00.000+08:00

Current Mood: Discombobulated. :D
Current Music: You Found Me - The Fray
Current Thought: Slumdog Millionaire

1. It has been like, what, almost two months since I last made a decent blog entry and the 'lucidity cogs' on my brain aren't really much oiled up right at this moment. So, pardon this trash. I just have to keep this blog thingy all geared up and working.

2. Matatapos na ang second sem at isa lang ang masasabi ko - binaboy ko ang second sem ko. Nang benggang-bengga. Wala kasi akong gana nung umpisa at ayun... tinuloy-tuloy ko na. This [blog entry] proves it. I just have to roll with the punches for the meantime and get a grade of Tres on subjects like Chem14Lec and IP121, at babangon ako muli sa 2nd year. Humanda kayo.

Never, EVER tell yourself that you'll stop doing something you are already addicted to, for I assure you, all your efforts will just go down the drain once you get a hold of it once again. Trust me, I'm at hell right now. DOTA (I repeat, DOTA, as in that computer game) is eating up all my remaining time, resources and sanity. There are times when I just feel guilty on wasting a what-could-have-been-alright semester but then I suddenly lose all my convictions once I hear my friends say; "LJ, DOTA TAYO!". I then succumb to my gaming hunger, and then the cycle goes on and on and on...

[This ought not be taken seriously]

5. Wala na akong ma-share. Blah. My train of thought suddenly got derailed.

*Mind shuts down*

Image credit:
http://hothardware.com/newsimages/Item8942

What Recession?

2009-01-18T21:26:00.000+08:00

This is an Apple iPhone application that literally does nothing. And the funny thing is, it costs $1000 dollars for the sole reason of its "flaunt-ability" - a proof that you are stinking rich. Surprisingly, eight [obviously] rich arseholes actually bought this completely useless application for its twisted and much-coveted exclusivity. Good thing though, after some time, they removed this stupid application from the Apple online store. Now, you better see this next one.

Meet the Imelda Marcos of the cellphone world - the Vertu Boucheron 150, a "limited edition mobile phone built from solid gold". F*ck yeah, solid, hand-crafted gold. Nothing says "I-am-filthy-rich-and-you-are-not" better than this elite baby. It costs a whopping (yeah, I'm compelled to use the word 'whopping') $30,000 USD (about P1.4M) and I am not even sure if it has a built-in camera (which is actually not important when it's the 'bling' you're after). It even takes 2000 man-hours to contruct, sculpt and polish this... uhm... trash. Seriously, will somebody even buy that? And more importantly, Can you really make calls with that thing?

Pretty self-explanatory :) This shirt costs $2695 USD (about P127K) and if you wish to avail of the black version (as shown in the picture), you must add $630 USD. How stunning. The people behind this creation must have been on an acid trip when they thought, "How about we make some cheapskate shirt then make it expensive just for the sake of it"? and then another one said "Yeah dude. that would be freakin' awesome!" This shirt came out of the site Social1000 which is also quite stupid you must check it out.

I don't get it. Maybe at this very moment, some rich corporate magnate is buying himself a new Mercedes Benz while somewhere, an indigent father is making ends meet to provide his family of eight with a meager salary. Ah, the cruel irony. Some people just don't know what to do with money nowadays - and they don't have the slightest idea of what they are wasting. This coming Thursday, we will be having a debate regarding "Which is more important Love or Money?" for our Comm2 class. (I'm on the 'Money' side, btw) With all this, I can still say, yeah, money really makes this f*cked-up world go round.

Dum Dumb Dummy

2009-01-12T21:24:00.000+08:00

Current Mood: Worn out
Current Music: Come Undone - Robbie Williams
Current Thought: Hominid, Prosimii, Australopithecines...

I can't think straight. My self-esteem has never been this down to the dumps ('abysmal' is the right word). And I've erased and rewritten this introduction five times over. These last few days, everything's one big surreal blur. Everyday, I just wake up, clean myself, go to school, listen to pedantic gibberish, write even more gibberish, go home, slack off and then sleep (all these while eating between intervals). I'm just like some clockwork toy waiting to be wound up each and every day. I spend most of my time either talking nonsense or just staring blankly. Every waking hour is a drag.

I should be studying my SocSci notes right now for my exam tomorrow but everytime I try to read the text, I can't understand a thing - as if the more I try to thrust in information, the more my mind prohibits entry. For no apparent reason, I suddenly feel so stupid. Even during groupwork, I act so clumsily and slowly that the group suffers from my laziness (we always finish last). I feel like I'm just a pathetic, worthless imbecile. And the worst part is, I never ever felt this miserable before. Just now.

Wala na ata akong ganang mag-aral. I'm unmotivated and ambitionless. I don't even know why, but when school is involved, I'm losing it. My backpack's a mess, my notes are incomplete, I'm flunking some of my tests (and I'm flunking another one tomorrow, it seems) and I don't even pay attention to the lesson anymore. Are the people around me too smart? Or am I just finally giving up? The course I'm in begs for focus and determination, but lately I'm lacking on both. My old, driven self must be laughing at me right at this very moment.

Sorry for the rant. I just need a proper release. I think I just need to accept that I cannot blame anyone or anything for my indolence. No, I won't waste everything my parents sacrificed just to mess things up. Maybe, this is just a phase, and it will inevitably pass. Be that as it may, if I want things to change, I must start the change within me. (F*ck, that last sentence would perfectly fit in a script of a Disney Movie) And after I hit that "Save & Publish" button, I'll try my best to bring back everything that was lost. It won't be easy, and it won't happen overnight but I'll make sure everything will go back to normal. Plus, I still got tons of SocSci notes to leaf through. Anyway, thanks for reading this. :D

Photo courtesy of Heilah (flickr.com)

The True Takipsilim

2008-12-28T21:22:00.000+08:00

This is kinda old, but still worth the space - with all the hype and buzz Takipsilim is getting lately. I'm not really much of a fan of the Oh-So-Awesome Twilight saga, I didn't even get to read any of the books and I know nothing more than 'this Bella girl falls in love with this Edward who is an impossibly freakin' handsome vampire' hullabaloo, but I managed to get a few laughs off of this. [This is reposted from Glen's Friendster Bulletin.] Warning: Overflowing cuss words. Not for the overly-conservative.

Takipsilim

Twilight Kanto Version

"Kasi pare ganito daw yun. may isa daw babae na hot daw pare. Pero maputla siya kasi hindi siya inalagaan ng nanay niya pare. Tapos pare emo daw siya kasi nga daw hindi siya mahal ng mundo at para siyang patay na bata na galit sa mundo. Tapos pare, lumipat daw siya ng tirahan kasi daw masyado daw siyang emo para sa luma niyang tirahan. Sabi niya sa nanay niya "tangina mo 'nay gusto ko lumipat kay 'tay". Tangina pare hindi nagalit nanay niya. Sabi lang ng nanay niya "tangina mo pare wag ka magmura".

So lumipat siya sa tatay niya di ba? Pagkarating niya dun sabi niya, "tangina erpat bakit maulan dito?" sabi ng erpat niya "gago "bur" months na! malamig na tangena". So nagtaka yung babaeng simula ngayon ay tatawagin na lang nating "babaeng maputla at emo".

So pumasok siya sa school di ba? binigyan siya ng truck ng tatay niya pare. Sabi ng tatay niya "tangina mo sa'yo na tong truck ko". Sabi niya "salamat tay".

Pagkarating niyang school tsong, may nakita siyang lalaking mukhang bangkay pero pogi. Sakto. Pogi pero mukhang bangkay. Sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo, "ang hot".

Nung bio lab na ni babaeng maputla at emo, natagpuan niyang lab partner niya yung poging bangkay. So nung tinignan siya nung poging bangkay, ang asim ng mukha nito. mukhang nandiri ata kay babaeng maputla at emo.

Sabi ni poging bangkay "tangina mo". sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo "tangina KA". sabi ni poging bangkay "tangina NIYA oh *tumuro sa teacher nila*". Sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo "oo nga noh. TANGINA MO". sabi ni poging bangkay "tangina mo gago bampira ako".

Tapos naghubad siya ng damit at kumintab ang katawan niya kasi linagyan niya ng glitters ang abs niya kasi tigasin siya at ganun na ang mga tigasin ngayon na nagpupuntang Emba. Puta pare sarap niyang isanla sa pawnshop feeling ko kikita ako ng malupet sa kanya! Isipin mo shining shimering ang gago! So anyways pare na in love si babaeng maputla at emo kay poging bangkay. Si poging bangkay naman sige lang kasi sex din daw yun. So ayun. Ang shweet shweet nila. Parang:

"Eow poh... ahihihihi"

"bebe mwahugz,..... ^^, ilabshooo"

So tapos nun nagpunta sila sa damuhan kasi.... alam mo na. Tapos sabi ni poging bangkay "Ikaw na buhay ko ngayon" sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo "Tangina mo gago patay ka na". sabi ni poging bangkay "TANGINA KA RIN".

So basically pare yun lang yung mga importanteng nangyari sa buong storya. Intense noh? Kaya pala nahhook lahat ng tao. Akala ko overrated. Hindi pala. Astig pala. Parang estorya ni Jesus Christ pero may mga bampira. Mas astig. Alam naman natin ang basic equation ng pagkacool."

* * * *
Picture of the Now:

"If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking."
- Nagasawa, Norwegian Wood, Chapter 3

Note: I'm not a fan of the series, but I don't really hate it, either.
Anyways...

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!

It's a UP Survey. Again.

2008-12-23T21:18:00.000+08:00

It's a hard-to-break habit -- Kapag bakasyon, kailangan magsagot ng survey. For filler purposes only. Bored bored bored bored. I just need a proper outlet. Bakit kasi walang DotA sa PC ko, ampf!

Current Mood: ..lethargic
Current Music: Blue Christmas - Elvis Prestley
Current Thought: Worst Christmas Ever. :(

UP Manila Survey (Integrated!)

1. Anong college mo?
> College of Pharmacy

2. Ilan ang building nyo?
> Isa

3. Sige nga, pangalanan mo!
> Valenzuela Hall

4. Sino ang Dean nyo?
> Ma'am Jocelyn Palacpac.

5. Eh ung Student Council Chairperson?
> Eh?

6. Anong subject mo this sem ang wala ka pang absent?
> Lahat except Chem14 Lec.

7. Bakit ka walang absent?
> Di ba sinabi kong may absent na ako?

8. Ano ang mas gusto mo, red o green tea?
> Red. Parang blood. Parang vampire ako. Woooooooooo. Fcuk that.

9. Pano kung walang green tea?
> E di yung red. Duh.

10. Narinig mo na ba ung "pizza bread"?
> Oo.

11. Magkano aber?
> P25 (yata)

12. Ano ang madalas mong bilhin sa Smokey's?
> Nugget Burger. Mixed Rice. At Salmonella.

13. Ano ang masasabi kay Oble*?
> Kelangan niyang magGlutathione.

14. Kung ikaw ay bibigyan ng P1M parapalitan si Oble for one week papayag ka?
> Yun lang? MOARRRR.

15. Ano ang pangalan ng Chancellor natin (with matching degree titles ha!)?
> Ramon L. Arcadio, MD MPhEd DrHum

16. Inisip mo na bang bombahin minsan ang DPSM (Department of physical sciences and mathematics)?
> OO. OO! (Bitter)

17. Sinu ang favorite teacher mo?
> Ma'am Weng, Sir Ong, Sir Obico

18. Nkakain Ka na ba sa Makel Food?
> Eh?

19. Eh sa Hapag Pinoy?
> HAH?!

20. Nakatambay ka na ba sa bagong tambayan sa may College of Nursing?
> Oo, kahit EXCLUSIVELY for Nursing students lang yun. Can't help it. Ha-ha.

21. Nakaakyat ka na ba sa PGH 8th floor?
> Yep. Ganda ng view.

23. Alam mo ba kung saan located ang TBA?
> Good luck sa paghahanap.

24. Nkailang units ka this sem?
> 20

25. May org ka ba? Ano?
> WALA! Isa akong Barbarian*. No time for such stuff.

26. Nkakain ka na ba sa CAS canteen? Aling stall ang favorite mo dun?
> Naman. Favorite stall? Smokey's.

27. Sino crush mo sa UP Manila???
> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA... Secret.

28. Sino sa tingin mo ang pinaka gwapo at mgandang teacher sa UPM?
> I know one, but I dunno her name.

29. Nakanood ka na ba ng Sayaw Manila?
> Nope.

30. Ano masasabi mo sa mga tindera sa (mga tindahan sa) OUR?
> Ayos lang. It seems that they follow proper hygienic procedures when preparing their meals. (naks)

31. Eh yung CR ng AS?
> Yung sa Rizal hall, puro vandal at walang tubig. Sa GAB... teka, meron bang CR sa GAB?

32. Saan sa UPM ang lugar na sobrang nkakatakot kahit umaga?
> Yung street between Med Parking Lot tsaka CPH Annex... Parang setting talaga ng horror film.

33. Cno knaiinisan mo sa campus?
> Wala.

34. Kilala mo ba si Conan?
> Hindi.

35. Ano ang masasabi mo tuwing nirerequire ng prof na manood ng play/event?
> "Mam/Sir, may grade incentive po ba?"

36. Alam mo ba ang ibig sabihin ng Tibak*?
> Yep. :)

37. Ano ang topic ng final paper mo sa Comm/Kom II?
> The Current State of the Animation Industry in the Philippines. Tentative title and the topic is subject to change.

38. Saan ka na nkapag field trip?
> uhm..... UP Diliman? Via Bus! Ha-ha. Lantern Parade. Hahaha.

39. Ilang UP Fair na napasukan mo?
> None so far.

40. Ano ang opinyon mo sa mga frat wars?
> As long as I'm not involved, I don't have anything to say.

41. Fan ka ba ng UP Pep Squad?
> Yep. Pero fan din ako ng Salinggawi. Wah.

42. Ano predicted GPA mo nung UPCAT?
> UNOOOOOOO. Joke lang. Di ko na nalaman eh.

43. Favorite GE subject?
> Histo 1. Comm1.

44. Favorite major?
> IP 121 Lab*. Haha. Ang saya kaya gumamit ng pipet, buret at ng Sartorius.

45. Memorized mo ba UP naming mahal?
> Nooooo.

46. Last one, Gusto mo ba tlaga sa UP? Gusto mo ba tlga course mo?
> Gusto ko sa UP (I'm almost forgetting that I was once caught in a dilemma between choosing UST from UP). Sa course? uhm......

** **
Oble - Oblation, the UP statue
Barbarian - Barbarian is the term used to refer to UP students who are not members of any student organizations, fraternities or sororities, and any other organization within the university.
Tibak - a play on the Filipino word, aktibista (activist), and generally refers to activists and street parliamentarians
IP 121 Lab - Pharmaceutical Claculations & Techniques

* * * *
Picture of the Now:

Merry Christmas!

APAP 5 gr supp #10 i PR p.r.n. temp 101°F

2008-12-08T21:14:00.000+08:00

This is a bit late, but I'll do it anyway. Patricia tagged me to list down ten happy thoughts. With my current state right now, finding happy thoughts is like searching for grains of gold amidst innumerable dregs of silt and sediment. If this list called for unhappy thoughts, I would've gladly filled it up to the brim. But hell, sabi nga nila, Look at the bright side of life. But looking at the bright side of life have never been this blinding.

10 Happy Thoughts.

I. Finally, My first Departmental Exam for Second Sem is done. Mahirap, as I have expected, pero iba pa rin yung relief once you've finished it. The subject I'm talking about is Pharmaceutical Calculations and Techniques Lecture (IP 121 Lec). (And by the way, the gibberish I used for my title means 'Five grains of Acetaminophen suppository; dispense 10, Use 1 rectally as needed if temperature exceeds 101 degrees F') Pedantry. :)

II. I like my haircut. Pinagupitan ko 'to last week. Kahit may mga nagsasabi na mas bagay sa akin yung dati, well, mahirap kaya manghawi ng bangs. :)

III. And, yeah, some people noticed that I'm getting slim. :) Even if it isn't true, you know that those two words - 'Pumayat Ka' - is a surefire way to make me happy. :D

IV. El Crimen Del Padre Amaro. My first R18 movie na pinanood sa loob ng isang classroom. Because of that fact alone, it deserves its spot here. :D

V. Finally, I downloaded a decent sheet music for Pachelbel Canon in D. And I'm gonna fix my violin strings by next week. Nakakinspire eh.

VI. Our house is very Christmas-y and fully decorated. Feel na feel na namin ang Christmas even if we are having a major financial crisis right now. :-|

VII. Been enjoying TV shows like Heroes, Family Guy, House, Bleach, Kyle XY and, hell yeah, even I Love Betty La Fea. The internet is also getting cool. Try Digg.com, and you'll check out the Internet more often. Promise. And encyclopediadramatica.com is teh WiN!!11!!1! Twilight ba kamo? [Click here]. :)

VIII. I miss higschool. (I know this is a sad thought, there's gotta be some tinge of happiness somewhere behind it).

IX. Sabog moments with my blockmate Christian JOSEPH So! Ha-ha. Ang dami nun eh, pero eto lang yung naalala ko, kasi recent lang. Haha. Engorge... I mean, enjoy!

(habang tinuturuan ang bata para sa NSTP)
Chris: Eh ikaw, alam mo ba yung catfish?
Bata: Ano yun? Di ko 'lam yun eh.
Chris: (with feelings) Catfish? Di mo alam ang catfish? Catfish [ay yung] BANGUS!
Ako: Ano? Catfish, bangus? Ang catfish, hito! Eto, magtutro na lang mali pa.

(continued sa jeep)
Blockmate1: Sige nga Chris, ano pagkakaiba ng alimango, alimasag at talangka?
Chris: Uhm... (*contemplates*) Alam ko yung sa alimango tsaka alimasag... Pero alam ko yung talangka WALANG PAA...
All: HAHAHAHAHA
Chris: Oh? Bakit? Di ba wala naman talagang paa yun?

(sa classroom...)
Chris: Dali, bunong-braso tayo... Pampatanggal UMAY lang...
Blockmate2: Umay? Di ba pag kumakain yun?
Ako: Oo nga... Baka ngawit ibig mong sabihin?
Chris: Umay, ngawit - parehas lang yun!

(sa foodcourt... seryoso sya nito)
Chris: Gawa ba sa baboy ang PORK Sisig?

SABOOOOOOOOG! Benta! (Clap! Clap! Fireworks!)

X. I saw HER last Thursday, 6:30 pm. I dunno what to say, really. It totally caught me off-guard - it was really unexpected. Nung nadaanan ko siya I was like in a daze for 5 seconds and when I snapped back, I smiled for whatever reason for the next 10 minutes or so . Call me shallow, but I'm gonna say it anyway - the feeling was never gone. :)

* * * *

Picture of the moment:

from: xkcd.com

Who Am I? : A Soc Sci Assignment

2008-11-23T21:13:00.000+08:00

Time Start
Nov. 21, 2008
1:37 AM

Flores, Lawrence Jay C. Soc Sci I
BS Pharmacy 2008-10301 Prof. Estacio

Who Am I?

Rarely do I falter whenever I am asked to answer a question; for I think I am one of those people who got everything all figured out for himself. I know my height, weight and blood type. I can get to even the most obscure locations provided clear directions and get a hang of intricate procedures for doing things. But somehow, there are some questions with which, up to this day, never fail to give me the dull, spaced-out, ‘Huh?’ look in my face. Surprisingly though, that question is one of the very fundamental ones that I should have known by now – who am I really?

Let’s start with the biographical basics and boring essentials – My full name is Lawrence Jay Castillo Flores, born September 2, 1991 making me 17 years of age right now. Born from a typical, middle class couple, I spent my early childhood days at Malabon and moved to Marikina four years later. I’ve got a sister and a brother, and I’m the youngest in the family, giving that stereotypical family-favorite image (but believe me, I feel deprived of this privilege). I’m currently a student of the University of the Philippines taking up a course which I later on realized I’ll never like. I’m the generic teenager boy who thinks about games, girls and music 90% of the time and devoting the remaining 10% in activities that will sustain life. Sounds boring, right?

I’ve been living this life for 17 years and still, I haven’t found my life the least bit exciting. My existence seem to be not much of a progress for the world and it seems that if ever I’m going to suddenly fall off a fiery pit or get hit by a car, people will most probably get on with their lives and they will never ever notice my disappearance. Such is the triviality of my existence that I find it hard to know my absolute purpose of setting foot in this earth. Call me an ingrate or unappreciative for the life I live but, hey, who wouldn’t want a little kick of excitement every now and then? Maybe an OFW parent. Or getting a mentally-challenged younger sibling. Or discovering an alien life form in our backyard, perhaps. Anything that will finally put the missing piece of joie-de-vivre in the most boring puzzle called ‘My Life’ – as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody or involves getting my family members killed in the process.

First impressions last, they say. For the last seventeen years, I’ve collected from various types of people mixed impressions about me – snob, twisted, approachable, cheerful, scatterbrained, mysterious, and even homosexual. But none of these are actually true, for I consider myself a social chameleon – I change according to the situation and the people around me and hence, I’ve got no particular prevailing trait within me except being highly sensitive to everything and everyone within my vicinity. I can be like a frenzied kid with ADHD or be as inconspicuous as a blood-sucking parasite under the furs of a black dog – all depending to the people I am with and the overall situation that I am in.

But then, I cannot always be a changeling. Being random has its own drawbacks. You always seek a missing something within yourself – a concrete identity; a personality that will stay and finally give you that certainty that you are being yourself and not just some person who depends on others to become himself. It gets pretty frustrating sometimes, because one must love thyself first before you can even start loving anybody else. Maybe that’s why I never ever had the chance to have a serious mutual relationship with a girl. Not so boring now, is it?

The simplest words sometimes convey the most complex meanings. I can’t even believe that a three-word question will generate two pages of double-spaced ideas. Unfortunately, I still find it hard answering this question because I am one of the many people who are still finding their own inner self - and that will never happen overnight. Given time, and perhaps effort, maybe soon I will. But for now, I’ll settle for being just a chameleon – sensitive, fickle and unpredictable - in this cruel, harsh jungle called reality.

Time End
Nov. 21, 2008
3:58 AM

* * * *

I'm sorry, readers; but I'm not really fond of replying back on comments. I dunno why. But don't think that I'm ignoring your replies, though. I just don't feel the need to reply back to your comments unless it's really, really important. But please do keep the replies/comments flowing, 'cause honestly, I feel really really happy when you reply on my posts. =D For this post only, comments off muna.

And for the record, I'm 100% male
Seriously.
and I don't have to do anything to prove it.
Case Closed.

Once again, it's Random

2008-11-18T21:10:00.000+08:00

Ang boring ng buhay ko. Sa sobrang boring, nagta-Tagalog na ako. Alam mo yun? Kung bibilangin kung ilang beses ko nang sinabi yung mga katagang 'ang boring ng buhay ko' sa mga blogs na pinost ko in the past, mabo-bore ka kakabilang. See the coherence? BOOOORING!

And the internet gets boring and boring. Nung kakakabit pa lang yng DSL, para akong isang batang excited buksan ang kanyang Christmas present under the Christmas tree laden with twinkling Christmas lights and beeping Christmas songs. Excited, ika nga, for new things. Pero, it gets pretty monotonous and redundant in the long run. Di na ako madalas magpost, di tulad nung highschool.

Dapat sumusulat ako ngayon ng isang character sketch. I would've done it enthusiastically - pero paano ko gagawan ng character sketch ang isang taong first time ko lang makilala, what more makausap lang for only an hour? BUENA SWERTE, AMIGO!

NGES HU? It's Johnny Depp! Portraying the role of the Mad Hatter for the 2010 movie Alice in Wonderland. Another Tim Burton-Johnny Depp teamup. TALBOG SI JOKER. WTF.

Di ako makapaniwala na tinanggihan ko yung libreng Rihanna-Chris Brown Concert na yun (Tito ko ang may sagot ng ticket). Ngayon ko napagtanto na sayang rin pala. Wala kasi ako sa mood nun na magParty Pip... at yung ^%@%!#@ na Philosophy assignment na yun...

Still, NO CELLPHONE! Its been two months-and-a-half, at buhay ermitanyo pa rin ako ngayon. Ewan. Wala pa namang withdrawal symptoms. Pretty soon, I'll be getting one again. and it's gotta be one of these... or else.

Kahit boring ang internet, may mga 'rare gems' pa rin ngayon, lalo na sa YouTube. Tulad nito; nakakasabog... Panoorin mo 'to after a hard day's work, at baka mapamura ka sa irita.

The Pablo Banila bug still bugging you (haha)? Click [this] for an explanation.

Ngayong college, dalawang beses na akong napagkamalang tibo. WHAT THE FCUK, really?! Nakakag*go.

This is another random-brain-dump-with-no-coherent-train-of-thought post brought to you by me. Sorry for wasting thy time. To make up for it, I'm leaving you a classic problem for you to solve. :) Enjoy.

* * *

From this point onward, I'll adhere to the TL;DR principle. :D

Se7en

2008-10-29T20:09:00.000+08:00

Don't you hate gaps? I actually think things should be done constantly, in regular intervals, with no long gaps in between. Same applies to my blogging habit. I gotta keep doing this without stopping... this site might grow cobwebs if I won't keep this going. Gah. I'm not in the mood to really tell stories right now. And I think a survey (once again) will suffice; everyone seems to be in survey mode right now. Maybe it's because of the sembreak-bore-fever.

THE 'SEVEN' SURVEY
(Apparently, a Miley Cyrus song started playing in my head - and it's annoying)

SEVEN THINGS THAT SCARE YOU

1. Slimy creatures (catterpillars, slugs and leeches)
2. Psycho killers. :D
3. Mannequins. And 'gothic' dolls. I've always thought they come alive at night.
4. Getting humiliated in front of an audience or within the proximity of my object of affection. :)
5. Yeah. Ghosts. If they ever existed.
6. The fact that everything in this world is just temporary. :-|
7. The Pale Man (from the movie Pan's Labyrinth). Still gives me the creeps.

SEVEN THINGS YOU LIKE THE MOST

1. Being with the people I love. (A very generic answer, indeed)
2. A cold, windy day.
3. Reading a novel of my liking.
4. Bumming in front of the PC/TV/PSP.
5. Si ano. Grabe, mag-apparate ka naman sa akin kahit once lang! :D
6. Malling alone. Completely and utterly alone. FREEEEEDOM!
7. Japanese food. :)

SEVEN IMPORTANT THINGS IN YOUR ROOM

1. The mirror.
2. Ang susi sa aking Super Secret Drawer of Doom. :D
3. Si Scream. (official name na yan ng violin ko)
4. Yung bed. Duh.
5. Bentilador! Di uso ang aircon sa kwarto namin eh. Sinolo ng ate ko.
6. Closet where my beloved clothes are placed. :D
7. My study table + the books in it.

SEVEN RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOU

(Indulge. Marami yan. Tinamad na ako mag-type eh)

1. [First Set]
2. [Second Set]

SEVEN THINGS YOU PLAN TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

1. Be at the summit of a mountain and see the world from above.
2. Torture a notorious criminal/corrupt politician.
3. Try different cuisines from all over the world.
4. Skydive. With my wife.
5. Say all the things I wanted to say with the people who matter.
6. Buy something really, really expensive then donate it to charity.
7. Get laid. :DD

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN DO

1. Physical capabilities of a normal 17-year-old Homo sapiens.
2. Cut my fingernails using my teeth. Disgusting, I know, but my nails actually look fine after.
3. Magsolve ng 3x3 Rubik's cube. :)
4. Magdrowing ng kahit anong pwedeng madrowing.
5. Play an 'unconventional' musical instrument.
6. Stare. For a long, long time.
7. Fall in love with someone. LOL

SEVEN THINGS THAT ATTRACT YOU TO THE OPPOSITE SEX

1. Impression/Personality/Attitude/Disposition.
2. Sense of humor.
3. Intelligence
4. Simplicity
5. Good physique. But not the necessarily the sexy hottie type. :D
6. A calm face.
7. Basta. Yung 'Connection'. Once you feel it, everything gets ruled out.

SEVEN THINGS YOU SAY THE MOST

1. Crap!/ Oh Crap!/Holy friggin' crap!
2. Ampf/Ampota/Ampotek/Ampness
3. Oh shit.
4. Tae.
5. Grrrrrrrr.
6. May ganon?!
7. Oh God.

SEVEN CELEB CRUSHES

Go figure. :)

...and this beautiful girl from that Pond's commercial (where her dad sprays water from a hose on this guy on a bicycle).

SEVEN PEOPLE YOU WANT TO SEE TAKE THIS TEST

1. You
2. Reading
3. This
4. Crappy
5. Piece
6. Of
7. Trash

* * * *

Very cool video. :) [Click Me]

* * * *

Ang laki ng impact ng Botany sa akin. Nasa bahay ako ng tita ko at tina-try kong alamin yung taxonomic families nung mga halaman sa garden nila... At talagang ineexamine ko yung mga floral parts (meron silang Euphorbia milii). Parang adik. Grabe. Chemistry na kami next sem. Malaki rin kaya ang magiging impluwensya nito sa akin bilang isang tao?

Alamin ang susunod na kabanata.

So you thought only animals hibernate and only volcanoes become dormant

2008-10-21T20:06:00.000+08:00

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” -Ovid

It's official: Sembreak is here! After taking that last Communications 1 test, I can now formally say to the face of Oble: I DON'T GIVE A **** ABOUT SCHOOL ANYMORE! And what better way to kick things off before I completely undergo mental hiatus for the next two weeks? Of course, the typical, the oh-so-lame, internet survey. Ugh. So, hold on to your seats, because this will be the most boring 3 minutes of your life.

UP Survey

1. Student number?
> 2008-10301

2. College?
> Unibersidad ng Pilipinas Maynila - Kolehiyo ng (*pauses. thinks*) ...Parmasya.

3. Course?
> Pharmacy

4. Nag-shift ka ba o na-kickout?
> Di pa.

5. Saan ka kumuha ng UPCAT?
> Sa tagung-tagong NIGS building sa Diliman.

6. Favorite GE subject?
> Comm1 and Histo1

7. Favorite PE?
> Uhm..... Ten-Pin Bowling? Advanced bowling?

8. Saan ka nag-aabang ng hot girls/guys sa UP?
> Everywhere, 24/7 gumagana ang radar ko. :DD

9. Favorite prof(s)
> Ms. Rowena Bastero and Mr. Jerome Ong :D

10. Pinaka-ayaw na GE subject.
> Math 17. Nuff said.

11. Kumuha ka ba ng Wed or Sat classes?
> Uhm... NSTP?

12. Nakapag-field trip ka ba?
> Di pa. Hopefully soon.

13. Naging CS ka na ba or US sa UP?
> How I wish.

14. Ano ang Org/Frat/Soro mo?
> Wala pa. Hassle pa (ata) eh.

15. Saan ka tumatambay palagi?
> Rob, Caf, RH Lib (kapag GC mode), Stairs, Corridors :)

16. Dorm, Boarding house, o Bahay?
> Bahay. :-|

17. Kung walang UPCAT test at malaya kang nakapili ng kurso mo sa UP, ano yun (Given ang mentality mo nung HS ka)?
> INTARMED. Haha. Joke lang. :)) Bachelor of Science in Public Health. Pero kung 4-year course lang ang Pharmacy, perfect na sana. Wala na akong hahanapin pang iba. (naks!)

18. Sino ang pinaka-una mong nakilala sa UP?
> Si ADSON S. CHUA. :D Siya ang kasabay ko mag-psych test. Early birds kami eh. 9 am palang ata nasa Dentistry Building na kami. :D

19. First play na napanood mo sa UP?
> Dora Lakwatsera na Naligaw sa College of Pharmacy by the Sophomores of Pharm and IP. Hahahaha.

20. Name the 5 most conyo orgs in UP
> I. Have. No. Freakin'. Idea.

21. Name 5 of the coolest orgs/frats/soro in UP.
> I. Still. Have. no. Idea.

22. May frat/soro bang nag-recruit sa yo?
> Failed attempt. Hihi.

23. Saan ka madalas mag-lunch?
> Tokyo Tokyo. KFC Taft. MiniStop. Cafeteria (pag nagtitipid at Mixed Rice lang ang afford) at syempre, sa SEX (Sinangag Express)!

24. Masaya ba sa UP?
> Masaya is too general. The UP Experience is a volatile but exquisite mix of culture, knowledge and angas. :D

25. Nakasama ka na ba sa rally?
> Not yet. Sana soon. Ma-experience ko man lang ang pagiging tibak. :D

26. Ilang beses ka bumoto sa Student Council?
> Di ko pa nexperience. :-|

27. Name at least 5 leftist groups in UP
> WTHell?!

28. Pinangarap mo rin bang mag-laude nung freshman ka?
> Freshman ako ngayon. At oo, nangangarap ako. Pero isang malaking ASA.

29. Kanino ka pinaka-patay sa UP?
> I'd rather speak when the situation demands it. :D

30. Kung di ka UP, anong school ka?
> HINDI AKO PAPAYAG. Hehe. Joke lang. UST siguro. O kung mayaman kami, sa The Arrhneo.

****

Seeing the American version of My Sassy Girl was like hearing Kim Chiu sing a Celine Dion song - pointless, disapponting and tries really, really hard. My Sassy Girl (Korean) together with One More Chance (Star Cinema) and If Only, are the ONLY romantic movies that I ever managed to appreciate. (All the other ones I didn't even exert effort to finish). Maybe I expected too much or maybe it really do suck. Either way, if you've watched the korean version, don't watch the American remake. You'll find yourself tearing the DVD (or worse, your TV) apart. :-|

Boom Bada-boom!

2008-10-15T20:04:00.000+08:00

****************************** First Exam: 43% *******************************
**************************** Second Exam: 53% *****************************
****************************** Third Exam: 72% *******************************
******************************* Fourth Exam 64.5% ***************************
****************************** Fifth Exam: 74% ********************************
****************************** FINAL EXAM: 78% ******************************

ISA! DALAWA! TATLO!
MATH 17 (College Algebra and Trigonometry) Final Grade

2.5

Holycrapfuckingshitbitch!
PUMASA NA AKO. WTF LOL. HINDI KO YAN INEXPECT. I'm really expecting a Quatro.
(Look at my grades)
Lahat ng hirap, pag-alala, pagod ay tapos na tapos na.
Alam ko mababa yan sa mga standards niyo.
Pero kung katulad niyo akong mas nanaising magbungee jump sa Empire State Building kesa magsolve ng logarithmic problem,
nako, sinasabi ko sayo, lulupasay ka sa tuwa.

I. Am. Proud. To. Say. That. I. Survived. With. ~~Fuckin'.~~ Flying. Colors.

[Recommended Reading. Click me. :D]

I still remember my first departmental exam experience. It was a cold evening and I was shivering (nakatapat sa akin yung aircon, promise). As I held with my trembling hand the test paper that will mark my destiny, my heart was beating as if it is struggling to tear itself out of my chest - and I can actually hear my heartbeat like a thousand pounding drums. I was experiencing a pseudo-highblood pressure. Since the beginning, Math 17 has always been the epitome of first-hand torture and depression in UP Manila. But... teka. Napa-English ata ako ah.

My First Heart Break (click to enlarge o kung gusto mo sagutan)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

(Oo, math geek, madali yan para sayo) It is a 2-hour test. Bagsak ako diyan. :-|

Pero, It all boils down to this: PUMASA AKO! Haha.
I know you're sick of me saying it, but I'll say it once again once more: PUMASA AKO!
This is a post to commemorate this feat - a post that will remind me that I once jumped over a major 'hurdle' of my life.

Una, nais kong pasalamatan si God. Grabe. God is good talaga. At nagbigay siya ng sign: may napulot akong rosary sa kalye bago ako magfinals. :))
Pangalawa, salamat sa teacher kong si Ma'am Bastero. COOLEST at DA BEST Math teacher. Kung hindi siguro sa mga bonus ni Ma'am, bagsak siguro ako sa mga quiz. At marunong siya talaga magturo at makihalubilo sa mga estudyante. DYOSA! :)
Pangatlo, mga blockmates ko na sinamahan ako as I walk through the shadow of the valley of death. Hihi.
Pang-apat, sa lahat ng nagsabing "KAYA MO YAN!" at nagdasal para sa akin. Oh yeah, salamat!

Pumasa ako. Oh yeah.

25 Things

2008-10-04T20:00:00.000+08:00

Hmmm. Why is it hard to think about anything if you are in front of the computer?
I demand a formal written document na nagsasabi na walang discount sa jeep ang mga estudyante kapag Saturday, Sundays and Holidays.
May bago kaming aso. :) Dutchess pangalan. Wala akong picture eh. Japanese Spitz (daw) sya sabi ng Kuya ko, pero feeling ko mongrel lang sya. (in short, askal) :O
Heroes Season 3 is AWESOME. Nuff said.
I'm currently loading Pushing Daisies (a TV series). Recommended by Myzy and Adson. :D
Life without a cellphone is both a blessing and a curse. Ah ewan.
I easily get angry these last few weeks. I kick things. I get annoyed easily. I need Anger Management classes.
There are 3 mistakes I made this semester.
First, I didn't buy even one reference textbook, even the required and essential ones. Binili ko lang ay three activity modules: 2 for Math and 1 for Botany.
Second, lakwatsero ako. I've been to SM MoA, SM Sta. Mesa, SM Marikina, SM Megamall, SM North Edsa, SM Manila, Starmall Ortigas, SM San Lazaro, Trinoma, and Isetann Recto; some of which first time ko lang puntahan mag-isa. At naglalakwatsa parin ako kapag school days!
Third, hindi talaga ako nakakapag-aral. Inaantok na ako pag-uwi ng bahay. At hindi nag-fafunction utak ko pag inaantok eh. Kaya siguro puro lang pasang-awa grades ko.
Of all the malls I mentioned above, I never found the book that I've been looking for. [Read my previous blog entry. =D]
Medyo natutuwa na ako sa mga shows ng TV5 (Channel 5, duh). Ewan. Wala kasi kaming cable eh.
Gusto ko siyang makita.
Plants are amazing organisms if you gotta discover and know them more. I learned that in class. Akalain mo yun.
Touch-screen phones are the shit right now. Take the new Nokia 5800 XpressMusic!
I hate some of those douchebag salesladies. Underneath their enthusiastic greetings and unassuming facade lies an undertone that says "Get the f*ck off this store kung wala ka namang bibilhin!" Yeah. You can feel it. What's worse is when they are following you around like you're some wretched shoplifter. THE HELL!
I'm seven steps away from finishing this blog entry.
Wala pa akong plant specimen na patutuyuin para sa herbarium. Pa-suggest naman ng halaman (basta hindi ornamental).
Di na (yata) ako magshishift ng course. Ineenjoy ko yung mga subjects ko so far...
CPA Board Exam na ng ate ko next Saturday. Sana makapasa siya. Para pag-aralin niya na ako. Ha-ha.
¿ɐq ɐu ɐʞ pǝɹoq
If Arccos2c = -Arccosx, Find x. Yan. Booooored ka na talaga.
Gusto kong maging highschool na lang ulit. :-|
That's all. Thanks for reading.

Sietes Realizaciones

2008-09-25T19:55:00.000+08:00

La única cosa permanente en el mundo es cambio.

Primero

[I-Click mo 'to para malaman kung ano ba talaga ang dapat nasa Yearbook entry ko]

...yan dapat yung quotation/personal description/message to parents ko for the yearbook. Before, I was notified by the Shoeland na dapat kong palitan yung Q/PD/MTP part ko sa Yearbook kasi kailangan 150 characters, which I found great, kasi yung una kong Q/PD/MTP is sorta crappy. Kaya I made a newer, more sensible one that properly fits a yearbook. At yan yun. Pinasa ko yung bago kong Q/PD/MTP kay Ate Camz, with hopes na she will submit it to the proper people.

When I got the yearbook, ang nakalagay na Q/PD/MTP ko is the OLD, CRAPPY ONE [na napakapangit] which I worked hard to replace. I was reaaaallllyy surprised, and quite disappointed kasi I expected na yung NEWER, MORE SENSIBLE ONE ang nakalagay. Well, wala na akong magagawa kundi tanggapin na pangit ang entry ko for the yearbook. But what's more important is that the Class Description ng Emerald turned out fine, the Shoeland didn't change even one bit. I've got good responses naman. :)

Segundo

Artista na si Oblation! Oo, yung istatwa ng UP! Grabe. Shining, shimmering, silver na yung kulay nya at nagsu-surf pa! Curious ka na? Nanonood kasi ako ng Fantastic Four sa net at biglang....

Eto sya, doing his favorite pose, straight from the movie itself;

Tercero

I'm on a book hunt.... once again. Grabe, bakit ganun, pag wala akong pera at nag-iipon pa, the book lies in the shelf of the bookstore and nobody pays even the slightest attention to it. Pero nung nabuo ko na yung pera para bilhin yung libro, aba! Biglang nawawala! Life is so effing unfair, man. Grabe, three days lang, nawala na agad yung TWO COPIES dun sa fiction shelf ng SM Manila. At pati sa website ng Nat'l Bookstore, wala rin. Gaaaaahd.

Cuarto

I am currently loading Episode One of Heroes Season 3: The Second Coming. At grabe, ang tagal magload ng [youku.net] video. Eh sa Cucirca.com kasi, na-remove yung video. Ang daya talaga. Excited na ako potah. Ampf. Ang tagal! Kung di pa rin gumana yung link, I shall then indulge myself on reruns of Family Guy, House MD and Prison Break. I've got lots of episodes to catch up. Ahhhhh.... The joy that broadband brings! :D

Quinto

This one PWNed me bigtime. Yeah, you can tell me that this is tooooo easy to be worth the rant. Pero try mo kayang gawin yan ng WALANG CALCULATOR. Grabe. At 20 points palang yan sa 100 points. Mindfuck talaga, grabe.

Sexta

First time kong makakita ng isang mini-frat war sa loob mismo ng campus. Suntukan galore. Takbuhan galore. Sigawan galore. Panic galore! Grabe. Super bagsakan, umpugan. Na-feel ko tuloy kung gaano "kafree-spirited" ang mga tao dito sa Peyups Maynila.... Hahaha [Free spirit daw oh?]. Normal na lang ata yun. Buti walang basagan ng bote. Lam mo ba, may nagyaya na sa akin mag-frat. Pero bawal eh. Tsaka wala naman talaga akong plano.

Kung suntukan dito sa Manila, paano pa kaya sa Diliman?!

Septimo

Announcement nga pala: My cellphone's busted at wala sa akin yung SIM Card right now. So, hindi ako makakapagbasa ng texts at [duh] di ako makakapagreply. Understand, bord?

****Anecdote!****

In Botany Class...

Prof. Botanist: (while pointing at some pictures in a Powerpoint Presentation) ...Eto class ang different members ng family Cyperaceae... eto yung Cyperus involucratus... The Umbrella Plant... Umbrella... Ella.. Ella... [sabay ngiti]

[Benta. Haha.]

A post just for the sake of having one.

2008-09-06T19:51:00.000+08:00

LAKAS-UHAW!
The PINOY POWERTHIRST.
LOL!

[...I think this is a parody of an American custom-made advertisement in Youtube. But this one is for the lulz. And definitely for the Filipinos. I got a good laugh at this one.... Maybe you will if you can relate.]

~ ~ ~ ~

My birthday just passed by without anything special that happened. It is just another sunny day. Same food, same rants, same walks. And I've got really nothing much to say. I just want to thank everyone who gave their greetings. Ha-ha!

And by the way, God gave me one of the best birthday gifts ever - a chance at life. For a while, I was caught in a dilemma if whether I need to drop a subject because of my failing exam grades [I think you already know the subject I'm talking about] or take the risk of failing my exams again and get a grade of 5.0 (fail). But it seems that God made that day special and spared me from my dreadful fate. For the first time, I passed. Not just pasang-awa, but I passed. Just passed. Now, I made up my mind - I won't drop the subject and just study harder.

Hmmm. Posting in my blog is getting less and less frequent. Busy much?

'The hottest people are born in the month of September.'

Sabaw. Tagalog. Random.

2008-08-15T19:49:00.000+08:00

iFlunked my Math Exam Once Again. Wag na nating gawan ng isyu. My score improved naman. Onti na lang talaga. Well, no point in sulking. I smell hope naman sa inequalities and functions (lesson namin ngayon).

Haaay, I'll give up all of my talent/s (meron ba ako nun?!) [parang Karlo Abril-ish yung statement sa parenthesis] para lang maging isang math wizard. O kahit injectable serum man lang pampatalino sa Algebra/Calculus/Trigo/Geom/Chem.

SABAAAAW. Wala ako sa mood magkwento. :(

This is my last rant about Math. Never shalt I dost speaketh about Mathematics ever again. Alam kong naiirita ka na, di ba?

* * *

"What the f*ck have you done lately?"

Yan ang last words na sinabi nung bida sa WANTED. Grabe, di pa rin ako makagetover. ASTEEEEG. Nice effects, Nice ending, Nice characters and a nasty plot twist! Grabe. Grabe. If you are an action-movie junkie [the type who loves curving bullets, mga slow-mo Matrix-like moments, do-or-die situations and meanigful plotlines], para sa 'yo 'to 'tol!

[image courtesy of: www.slashfilm.com]

* * *

Envious. :-|

* * *

Heroes Season 3
Coming Sept. 22, 2008

[
image from: cucirca.com]

THIS IS *really* IT. The coolest show will be back in a jiffy. Tae, excited na ako. Buhay pa ba si Niki? Eh si Nathan? Malakas na ba talaga si Sylar ulit? Sinong mga bagong 'Heroes'? Woo! If you can't get me, poor you. Go watch Season 1.

Eto dapat ang mga pinapanood niyo. Hindi yung mga...[omitted due to unnecessarily offensive assertions].

* * *

A military operation involves deception. Even though you are competent, appear to be incompetent. Though effective, appear to be ineffective.

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War

I Have Learned That...

2008-07-31T19:46:00.000+08:00

Through MATH17 (College Algebra & Trig), I have learned that...

"Math is not exclusively for the intelligent, but it is mostly meant for the diligent". If I am to be elated by that statement, then I must be sniffing too much Elmer's Glue. Math is never meant for me; and it never did and it never will. Maybe I should shift to Comparative Lit in Diliman next year, eh?

There are two types of factoring problems: the simple type (which I am accustomed to in highschool) and the epistaxis-inducing-overkill-six-terms-plus-radicals-plus-exponents-holy-crap-I'm-doomed type. And the one which I prefer is... well, never mind. I never get what I want.

5-point bonus questions which are overly irrelevant to the topic under discussion is a heck of a help when it comes to surprise quizzes. I never thought questions like "Anong kulay ng brief ni Superman?", "Sino kapatid ni Itachi?" and "Ilan ang namatay sa Sulpicio Lines accident?" will ever find their way in a College Algebra quiz. Sheer euphoria. :D

Through BOTANY, I have learned that...

There are more to leaves than simple and compound. Imagine terms like whorled, fascicled, pinnate, incised, crenulate, hastate, oblanceolate [plus a hundred more] forcibly being drilled through the insides of your skull. (How I wish I get trepanned, like the ancient people, to let all of these 'demons' out of my head) We're not even talking about the different terms for fruits and stems and roots. Believe me, the list goes on. Truly, looking at plants will never EVER be the same again, especially during practical exams.

Back in highschool, I thought that microscopes are luxury instruments - meant for one-time use, and display-worthy for the remainder of the time. Now, I spend almost 3/4 of my lab class adjusting the coarse focus and coercing my eyes to find a teeny-weeny specimen; all these while trying hard not to feel dizzy by sudden eyestrains. Tangina, nakakasawa pala.

Ever experienced staring at something so complex and so intricate that your brain is compelled to undergo stress-hibernation? I did. Back in Botany class. For the first time, I experienced INFORMATION OVERLOAD while looking at a Glycolysis-Kreb's Cycle-Electron Transport Chain diagram. And with terms like Oxydative Phosphorylation, Alphaketogluterate, Fumarate, pyruvate, chemiosmosis and much more gibberish, who wouldn't? So, still thinking your subjects are difficult?

Through PHIL HISTORY, I have learned that...

UTTERLY BORING SUBJECT + New views, facts and ideas + Coolest History professor = Meaningful learning experience! Yep. Even the dullest lessons (like Magellan stumbling upon the Philippines), if tackled with both humor and creativity, can be one of the best lessons worth remembering. Truly, the professor plays a vital role on how you tackle a subject.

Speaking of Magellan, he wasn't killed by Lapu-Lapu in one-on-one combat. To make the long story short, pinagtulungan siya ng mga katutubo. Bugbog-sarado, Tondo style.

Favorite words of wisdom by my PhilHisto professor: I quote, "Dahil sira yung aircon at napakainit, sinong gaganahang magturo o matuto pag ganyan, di ba? Iche-check ko lang yung attendance at pwede na kayong umalis." unquote. :-D

The Tagalog term for 'fragmented' is 'paputa-putaki' and the Tagalog term for 'compact' is 'pikpik'. Yah. They are. It sounded funny for the first time, really. And I also discovered that during ancient times, women don't give a damn about abortion and their virginity, while men use implements (called tugbuk and sacra) on their genitals for maximum sexual performance. :-|

[This is getting much too long. If I'm going to include the other subjects, uhm, it will be too cumbersome to comprehend. I think I'll stop.]

* * * *

[MAROON and BLUE]

* * * *

I wanna learn French...

Not that, you freakin' pervert! The French Language; the language of romance. And... uhm, maybe I'll consider learning the other French too, some other time. ;-D

WANTED: Libro

2008-07-17T19:41:00.000+08:00

Title: Batte Royale Author: Koushun Takami

Willing to give P100.00 (One hundred pesosesoses) to anyone, I mean ANYONE, who can tell me where I can buy this book [PM me in Multi, YM or text]. Applicable din if you know someone that I can borrow it from. I saw this once (maybe 4 or 5 months ago) sa NBS @ Rob Metro East, pero ngayon nawala na siya! I was actually glancing every shelf in that godforsaken bookstore but there was suddenly no trace of it whatsoever. Argh. Frustration is sinking in.

Ulit. Isandaan. Para sa pagturo ng isang libro. Isang daan rin yan. Apat na Hong-kong Style Noodle din yan (Yum!).

Ah. Baka mag-settle na lang ako for After Dark (Haruki Murakami)/ Flowers for Algernon (Daniel Keyes)/ Good Omens (Neil Gaiman)/ The Curious Incident of the Dog at the Nigh-time (Mark Haddon) or another Jessica Zafra work.

I NEED A BOOK!

* * * *

Winds of ennui are blowing towards my direction - everyday is as dull and bland as a masticated toyo/kalamansi-infused Siomai. Or maybe I have just been overlooking the hard-to-see highlights of my monotonous and patapon college life.

1. It was my first time to actually witness an explosion coming from a electric post transformer [or wateber you kol dat]. Oo, nasa loob ako nang Powerbooks (Robinson's Midtown) nun at malakas ang ulan, and then *BOOM!*. There's a sudden ray of light, and then smoke. The lights went off and back on. Pero, parang wala lang. Di naman kasi ako naapektuhan or what.

2. I flunked my first Departmental Exam in Math 17.Nobody knows except you, dear reader. Let's keep it that way, shall we? [Screw math. All together now: SCREW MATH!]

3. My wardrobe is in the brink of extinction. Onti na lang, I'm an official outfit repeater na.

4. Lahat ng bagay ay mahal kapag wala akong pera. Lalo na ang mga T-shirt na gusto ko sa Artwork, Topman at People are People. :-((

5. Freshman-orientation programs can cause sore throats. And sweaty armpits. :D

6. Random thought time: There's this superstition in UP na wag na wag kang magpapapiktyur kasama ang kahit anong Oblation statue dahil di ka gagraduate on time. Ooooh. I can't find the point [What do you expect? It's a goddamn superstition]. Well, it won't hurt if I'll believe it.

7. Fuck. Goddamn. Shit. Crap. Tae. Asshole. My mouth has never been this filthy before. Now, cussing is just second nature to me. Oooh, coprolalia in full bloom.

Ayun. Wala na talaga akong masabi. Borlogs na borlogs ang college life ko. Walang kulay... so far. Will someone come and bring a rainbow in my current black-and-white life? [I can't believe I just typed that so-highschoolish-fit-for-a-slumbook sentence]

Arrivederci!

The Light Rail Transit Authority

2008-06-28T19:36:00.000+08:00

^Yearyt. Whatever^

LRT 2 (Megatren) Santolan-Recto:

Mainit sa Katipunan Station (LRT2). Kahit sa umaga.
"The Train to Recto Station comes with some delay" - yan ang mensahe na ayaw na ayaw kong makita, lalo na pag male-late na ako.
Iwasan ang gitnang part ng LRT2 - diyan concentrated ang mga tao. Promise.
Epal si Manong Guard na pumito ba naman sa likod ng tenga ko. Tangina nya.
Ang biyahe mula Katipunan station hanggang Recto station ay approximately 15 minutes (kung walang mga 'mini-stops'). Kung paano mo pasasayahin ang sarili mo sa loob ng oras na ito habang nakatayo sa LRT ay nakasalalay sa iyo.
Natutuwa ako pag may taong nagpupumilit pumasok kahit pasara na yung pinto. Kasi yung expression sa mukha nila ay parang "ay-nako-here-comes-my-savior-do-or-die-na-ito!". Hi-hi. Mukha silang tanga.
Ang favorite kong pwesto ay ang malapit sa pinto. Para mukha talaga akong college boy na nagpapaka-senti habang nakatingin sa mga buildings at squatter areas na tumatambad sa aking paningin.
I lean on doors --- kahit bawal. Wala pa namang sumisita eh.
Alam niyo ba na tapos na dapat tapos na yung kontrata nung babaeng nagsasalita sa LRT? Dapat di na siya nagsasabi ng 'Paparating na sa blah-blah station...', unless na-renew na. Wala lang, na-share ko lang.
Nag-offer na ako ng seat sa isang [matandang] babae. Feeling galante na ako eversince.
Maraming bumababa sa Legarda station.
Andaming SOGO hotels akong nadadaanan. Kulay McDo nga eh.
Nag-aaral ako ng Math17 habang nasa LRT2. First subject kasi.
Mariscians spotted inside the train: Faye, Estella, Afu, Meg, M-gold. Yun pa lang.
Takuyaki. Siomai. Hong-kong style Noodle. Fruitas. Zagu. Di mo talaga mapipigilang mapakain dahil sunud-sunod ang stall ng mga yan sa Recto. Yum. Takuyaki is the beeeeest.
Tinago ko ang first-ever Stored Value Ticket ko. Nasa wallet ko siya ngayon.

LRT Line 1 Baclaran-Monumento:

Kung mainit sa Katipunan Station, mas mainit sa Doroteo Jose station (LRT1).
Tangina. Ang hirap sumakay sa LRT Line 1. Laging jam-packed. Tapos, may isang Manong na brusko na hinawi (oo, hinawi) ako para makasakay siya. Naiwan ako sa labas. At nang pasara na yun pinto, tinitigan ko siya ng masama (at nakatitig din siya, pati yung ibang nakakita sa ginawa niya). Mumurahin ko sana, pero may respeto ako sa mga matatanda.
At dahil nga patok sa takilya ang LRT1, may instance na apat (4) na beses kong pinalampas yung tren dahil di ako makasakay.
Mas malamig ang aircon sa LRT1 kesa sa LRT2.
No offense meant, pero naiinis ako sa mga babaeng sumasakay sa Male Area ng LRT1. Kaya nga Male Area eh, di ba? Syempre kasi, makakakuha sila ng guaranteed seats sa mga modest na lalaki na nakaupo. Eh kung sa Female Area siya sumakay, edi mababawasan na ang sikip sa male area.
Sinong may sabi na walang sounds sa LRT? Nako, tumabi ka lang sa lalaking nagsasoundtrip gamit ang kanyang earphones, instant music na! Eh sa lakas ba naman ng volume, talagang attention-grabber!
Humawak sa safety hand rails? Ang taas kaya. Di ko abot.
May nakatabi akong amoy-putok. %#*@$&@^!
Shet. Ayoko na.

Image source: http://www.lrta.gov.ph/

* * * *

Other constituents of the College Realities series [Coming soon... or not]
- College Realities: Math17 = Pressure
- College Realities: Blockmates Galore [Private]
- College Realities: Aktibista?

Mukhang madedelay ang Top 5 whatever list ko ah.
Oo, ito ang buhay-kolehiyo ko. At alam kong naiinis ka sa mga kwentong kolehiyo na di ka naman nakaka-relate kasi, more likely or not, di naman tayo parehas ng university na pinasukan. Believe me, I know how it feels. =D

12 / 21 / 2012

2008-06-28T19:33:00.000+08:00

December 21, 2012
Mark your calendars, people! For in this day the world will end.

That's what they say, at least.
Seriously though, the Mayans predicted it (quite accurrately).
But, is it just one of those doomsday prophecies that came and went but never really happened? Is it just an extreme case of paranoia?
Or is it really our time to be judged?

You decide. I actually don't believe it.
Do good and be kind. You'll never know. =)

Recommended readings:

[link]
[link]
[link]

* * * *

The world's
gonna
END
but
as of now,
I
still
never
EVER
had
a
serious
RELATIONSHIP
with
a
GIRL.

And i feel like I'm such a loser.

They say love waits,
and it's never too late.

Maybe I should blame myself.
'Cause I'm doing actually NOTHINGabout it.

[Note to self: This part is too mushy to boot; be sure to erase this in the future]

Afterdeath / Afterlife

2008-06-23T19:30:00.000+08:00

"...and no one spoke until a young woman came forward. She had died a martyr centuries before. She looked around and said to the other ghosts:

'When we were alive, they told us that when we died, we'd go to Heaven. And they said that Heaven was a place of joy and glory and we would spend eternity in the company of saints and angels praising the Almighty, in a state of bliss. That's what they said. And that's what led some of us to give our lives, and others to spend years in solitary prayer, while all the joy of life was going to waste around us and we never knew.

'Because the land of the dead isn't a place of reward or punishment. It's a place of nothing. The good come here as well as the wicked, and all of us languish in this gloom forever, with no hope of freedom, or joy, or sleep, or rest, or peace...." -The Amber Spyglass, Chapter 23

~ ~ ~

"Kung ganoon kabait at forgiving ang Diyos, bakit kailangan niya pang dalhin sa impyerno yung mga makasalanan?"

I posed this question one night by the dinner table, along with my brother and mom, just to elicit a sensible converstaion while savoring the lovely myriad of dishes sitting in front of me. The question just came out naturally, it popped unexpectedly, randomly. I never expected a decent answer from them, since this seemed to be the very first time they actually heard me raise such kind of question - too profound to become a dinnertime topic, I guess.

But quite unexpectedly, my brother responded, seemingly, with much conviction and wisdom (the latter is quite doubtful :D), "Depende yan sa may sala. Yung ayaw humingi ng tawad, sa Hell napupunta. Yung mga gustong mapatawad... sa Purgatory. Siguro. Di ba?" Half-surprised and half-complacent, the thought hit me. I should have opened an argument right there, but I never did. His unexpected answer is much too sensible to disagree with. And besides, I'd rather relish the food than to argue for the sake of argument - eating is what dinner is about, anyway.

A Christian will always encounter a "Do good and you go to Heaven. Be bad and go to Hell" sermon from their parents one point in their childhood. I did. And I believed in it. I cannot contest about it. It is gospel truth. It is like the Big Bang theory or the evolution of man - you don't have to see it to believe it, for it is universally accepted sola fides (by faith alone). But doubts seem to strike me this time. Is there really a Heaven, or even a Hell? Is there really a place beyond the clouds that is full of hymns, angels and good souls singing in exultation for all eternity? Is there a place underground where sinners are forever damned, tormented and burned? I used to think of it that way.

I may sound agnostic or heretic, but I somehow lost this kind of belief. You can't blame me - no one ever presented me a concrete explanation or fact that these places exist. For now, one thing is certain for me; there is nothing after death. No happiness. No guilt. Nothing. It can be darkness. Or maybe a bleak, desolate land where souls wander, whisper and regret about their wasted life. The good and the evil all in one place - no St. Peter to judge us. No angels or devils. It is... a place of nothingness.

My faith must have been tainted, or shattered by now. I may have been excommunicated by what I have written if I lived during the Spanish Era. My name should be written already in the Book of Death for possessing all these thoughts, and my soul is poised to burn in Hell (if it ever exists). But to make things clear, I still believe in God, in Jesus, in saints, in salvation. But the heaven-hell theory? I don't really know. Maybe a little enlightenment will make me see things in a clearer perspective. Maybe. Just maybe.

- - - -

Practice essay done! These are just rants about nonsense. :)

Skadoosh!

2008-06-15T19:28:00.001+08:00

As I have noticed (or maybe you did, too) my Multiply message board is actually teeming with posts regarding the first days [of my contacts] in their respective colleges. And I don't feel like jumping into the bandwagon, for some twisted reason. Maybe I just don't wanna talk about it.

Or maybe I will.

"Siguraduhin niyong 3 by 4 yan kung ayaw niyong maperwisyo. At pabawasan ang taas, pabawasan yan."

Panay ang tingin ko sa salamin at nakikiita ko na kung gaano na kalayo ang narating ng aking 'Crowning Glory'. Sa halos apat-napung (40) buwan na pananatili ko sa Marikina Science Highschool, ngayon ko lang nakitang ganito kahaba ang buhok ko. At ito ang unang yapak na tatahakin ko patungo sa paglasap ng kalayaan. Matamis na kalayaan ng buhay kolehiyo.

[Kasalukuyan akong naiirita dahil pumapasok na yung buhok ko sa aking tenga. Ang kati.]

~ ~

Just a little diversion to all the insipid talks of a newly-encountered college life, some of my next posts will be a a bit different. I will be featuring a Top 5 Whatever list. It can be a Top 5 of anything my mind can stumble upon. And I'll make sure it will be interesting and maybe a little personal.

~ ~ ~

Mahirap harapin ang buhay-kolehiyo nang nakangiti kung ika'y katulad ko na kailangan gumising ng alas-kwatro y medya ng umaga (at wala pa sa tamang ulirat) para hindi mahuli sa klase. Nakakapanghina, promise. At pagkatapos ay kakaharapin mo ang matinding bagwis ng usok ng Kalye Katipunan, at bago pa man ako tumuntong sa silid-aralan ay amoy-Carbon Paper na ako. Tapos, daig pa ang Olympics sa LRT, dahil may takbuhan, tulakan at talunan (oo, talunan) na nangyayari.... At mahigit sampu pa ang kalaban mo (at kung malas ka, puro mga bruskong bouncer pa ang kasabay mo). Mas malupit pa sa Dawn of the Dead at Resident Evil. At sana lang, masanay na ako sa "Art of Sleeping while Standing".

At pagdating mo sa classroom, mari-realize mo na halos araw-araw mong gagawin ang mga 'to. At mase-stress ka lang sa kakaisip. Di pa nag-uumpisa ang klase niyan, pero stressed ka na.

Tapos props lang yung aircon. Ingay lang ang ginagawa, hindi lamig. Badtrip.

~ ~ ~ ~

Oh, just a random thought. Masturbation is scientifically proven to decrease prostate cancer risk in males.

Oh, YESSSSS!... ehem... I mean, oh reeeaaallly?! Wow. ;D

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Updated version ng aking college schedule (w/ slight changes)! Click here.

CRAP

2008-05-30T08:41:00.000+08:00

You think you are so famous and rich that you can actually play with people's emotions.

You think you are oh-so-good and act as if you care about the poor and the OFWs.

You think your crying face and pleads of sympathy actually work.

You think you can just say things and people believe you.

You think you are such a perfect example of a man.

You think you are funny.

You think you are God.

Burn in Hell fucker. You belong there.

Willie Revillame pisses me off. Bigtime.

* * * *

Crap. That word has been running around my mind lately, giving me all these shitty ideas. It's because our whole house smells like crap. As if a stink entity or the God of Stink have paid a visit on our humble abode; spreading stench and vile in every corner. Our house is actually reeking - a nauseating aroma of the of pussy crap or dead rat or a mixture of both. Anyways, it's sickening. Expecially in the noon, when the sun seems toasting whatever that disgusting source of stench. Crap.

Crap.

* * * *

Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I get together, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

~ Puta. Matagal-tagal ko siyang di masisilayan. Sya pa naman motivation ko para pumayat.

We are the 'Mutants'

2008-05-16T18:04:00.000+08:00

*Wala ako sa mood mag-English*

Kolehiyo. Wohoo! Lumelevel-up na ako! Ang kolehiyo ay ang panahon kung kailan ang staple food ko ay Siomai, kung kailan madalas ko nang makikita ang manilaw-nilaw na "DO NOT LEAN ON DOORS", kung kailan maririndi na ako sa "....paparating na sa Recto station." at kung kailan araw-araw kong makakasalubong ang Oblation (na kasing macho ko). Pero, WAIT! THERE'S MORE! Kailangan kong ihandog ang malaking bahagi ng aking buhay-kolehiyo, ang unibersidad na pinasukan ko... Ang UST! (duh. In my dreams) *ehem* ang UP Manila! (Yehey! Palakpakan!) Excited ka na ba? Ako kasi hindi eh.

Transpo

Trike. Jeep. LRT. LRT ulet. At sangkatutak na lakaran; Yan ang madadanas ko sa bawat umaga na papasok ako ng eskwelahan. From Malanday, Marikina to Ermita, Manila - fuck, it's an hour and a half ride. Sobrang layo. At di talaga nila ako ido-dorm. So, for every school day kailangan kong gumising ng 4:30 am at umalis sa bahay ng 5:15 am para makarating ako ng 6:45, 15 minutes before my first period. Hassle! At pano pa pag-uwi? Almost P100 ang magagastos ko for transpo lang (papunta-pabalik).

Campus

Situated in the historical Ermita, Manila, UP Manila is one big heck of a dumpster-turned-university slash barren wasteland slash ghost village [oops, exagg]. But what I said is half-true. Sa labas, puro usok ng sasakyan. Puro sidewalk vendors. Puro holdaper [this needs verification]. At puro pasyente ng PGH. At labas pa lang yan ah. Wait til you see the inside. Grabe, 1/4 lang ata yun ng UP Diliman. At creepy yung buildings, lalo na nung inexplore ko yung buong campus by myself... Para bang may nagmamatyag sa akin behind the broken glass windows. At wala kaming gym! AS IN WALA! Sa KALYE ang PE namen.. katabi ng mga nakapark na sasakyan at nakatambak na basura. Wohoo! EXCITED NA AKO!

...ang tanging magandang nakita ko ay yung Student Annex namin, otherwise called ROBINSON'S PLACE MANILA. As in pagtawid mo lang ng kalye from school, bubungad sa 'yo ang isang malaking pintuan na mapanghalina... nagtatawag na pumasok sa malamig na mall at magrelax at magrelax at magrelax...

Academics

"Sa DROGA Umiikot ang Buhay Ko..."

BS Pharmacy ang course na kinuha ko. Ewan ko ba kung anong nasa isip ko bakit eto ang nilagay ko sa UP form. Pero, it's an ok premedicine couse naman daw. So sad 5 year-course 'to. Magshi-shift na lang ako sa BS Public Health. Ha-ha.

Sked ko? Click here.

O ayan. Di tulad nung highschool, ako ang kailangan pumunta sa prof. Hindi yung prof ang pupunta sa akin. Kaya talagang papayat ako nito kakatakbo sa designated classroom ko. At magkakaibang building yung ibang subjects ko. Kaya karipas to the max!

At talagang super to the max kung magbabala sila ukol sa subject na Math 17 (College Algebra & Trig). Di ko alam kung kailangan akong kabahan.

Blockmates

OK naman sila so far. Ang buong BS Pharm ay isang block lang, and 29 lang kami. Bilang lang sa daliri ang boys, at mukhang may mga makakasundo ako, at meron ring hindi. >:) The girls? Mukha na silang mature - too mature para magkaroon ako ng 'prospect'. Haha.

Well, di tulad ni Genesis, ako'y pinagpilitan lamang sa unibersidad na ito, and (maybe) I'll spend the next 5 (or 4) years of my college life in this institution. At sa likod ng bawat reklamo ko, kailangan kong matutunang mahalin ang unibersidad na ito (kahit mahirap). Dahil hindi UST. Hindi La Salle. Hindi Ateneo kundi...

...UP ako. Ikaw?

It's A Violent World

The Curtain Call

A Portrait of A Dream Girl

(76)

7 Things I Realized During My Drugstore Internship

NGSB

(73)

Tula(la)an sa Tren

(71)

Retrospect

(69)

Hai(na)ku

The Art of Confessing (to the Parents)

The Five Stages of Grief

(65)

The Watchman

Mid(College)Life Crisis*

Five Things I've Realized Today

Auditory Nostalgia

The Story of Prince Pandacorn

(59)

In Loving Memory of Scream

10 things I Want to Say to Certain People

O.U.A.T.

Skoodles

Break it down, yo!

(53)

I'm Offline

Schadenfreude

B.S.

Back to the Fray

Aleatorio

Hit and Run

Literary Stagnancy

How to Win in "Showtime" with 4 Easy Ways

Bacchus

On Sports

hELLoW fhOeZ jeJeJeje

Hurray for Suffrage

Yearender

A Christmas Story

Checklist for 2nd Sem AY 2009-2010

Hi, I’m Lj

Post Mortem †

WTF?! Video

WTF? Pic (Part 2)

WTF? Pic (Part 1)

Blogging Blunders: There are some things we should never share in the internet

~

PTNGNA -- A Series of Rants to Spoil your Mood

One More Time

ABCDEFGHIJK Hell

A Video, Some Pictures and a Meme

What Recession?

Dum Dumb Dummy

The *True* Takipsilim

It's a UP Survey. Again.

APAP 5 gr supp #10 i PR p.r.n. temp 101°F

Who Am I? : A Soc Sci Assignment

Once again, it's Random

Se7en

So you thought only animals hibernate and only volcanoes become dormant

Boom Bada-boom!

25 Things

Sietes Realizaciones

A post just for the sake of having one.

Sabaw. Tagalog. Random.

I Have Learned That...

WANTED: Libro

The Light Rail Transit Authority

12 / 21 / 2012

Afterdeath / Afterlife

Skadoosh!

CRAP

We are the 'Mutants'

The True Takipsilim